(Closed) Moral dilemma

posted 6 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Would you or have you upgrad(ed) your diamond to a larger size?

    Yes I already have

    Yes I plan on doing so in the future

    Yes and I regret it

    No I love my ring size

  • Post # 2
    Member
    644 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    weddingdiva2016:  unfortunately, I think it’s very normal for us to compare ourselves to other people. I definitely do it. Don’t beat yourself up. I’m also not the type of person who can “learn to love” something if I don’t love it. Think about what you really want. It sounds like your Fiance is supporting you. Try not to torture yourself in the decision-making process 🙃

    Post # 3
    Member
    88 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2017 - Insignia Steakhouse

    View original reply
    weddingdiva2016:  Hi there. My fiancé and I shopped around a lot before he went on His own and purchased the ring. My only concern was that it not be yellow, and no obvious black spots that were super visible. He got me a J 1.3, and at first it was beautiful but after a few cleanings it seemed yellow. (There’s a post with the whole story somewhere). Anyway, when we returned the diamond to Blue Nile, we had to pick a stone right away (literally had to pick a stone and ship the original ring back in 2.5 hours, which was very hard as we were both at work). There were no Equivalent diamonds available at the size I had so we upgraded to a 1.5. Not a huge jump but it’s noticeable. He was upset that I said it was yellow but he spend so much that I had to say something. I wasn’t ungrateful but for what he spent it shouldnt have been as yellow as it was (i know J can have some warmth but it was very yellow)

     

    SO, if you’re really unhappy, do what you have to do instead of looking at your ring and not being happy. That’s just my advice!

    Post # 5
    Member
    1093 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    I would be thrilled with a one arat diamond.  My fiance proposed with a 0.42 ct diamond and sapphire ring.  You are lucky that your fiance is willing to indulge you.  I am a mature second marriage bride.  At this point in life we find other things to spend our money on like teenage children, the house, cars and our retirement.

    Post # 7
    Member
    519 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2016 - Temecula, California

    There will always be something “better” like the grass is always greener saying.  I give you props for communicating with your fiance!  But I would be happy with what you have.  

    Post # 8
    Member
    88 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2017 - Insignia Steakhouse

    weddingdiva2016:  I now have an H with strong blue fluorescence, which make it seem a lot whiter. 🙂

    Post # 9
    Member
    105 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    i used a family heirloom because I loved the ring, but also because my Fiance and I need a new roof and also getting him a greencard between government fees and laywer fees is going to cost around 5000. there is no way in hell I would let him spend more than a few hundred on a ring when we have much more pressing things to pay for in the near future. Count your blessings, remember what really matters (your marriage!) and a lot of character development happens when you don’t get exactly what you want. 

    Also, a lot of people think big expensive diamonds are gross displays of wealth and tacky to show off. Yes you get to show a big diamond off to your friends, but you’d probably want the smaller one when you are trying to bond with people who don’t have much money. There are pro’s and cons to each and I think you should just be happy with what you have!

    Post # 10
    Member
    6331 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Don’t compare your ring to other people’s rings. I’m sure yours is beautiful and associated with many happy memories with your Fiance. 

    Like you, I also have a 1 carat diamond on a size 4.5 e-ring. If I changed out that diamond, I don’t think it would feel like my e-ring any longer. I agree with your later statement that the size of the e-ring will matter less after a few years of marriage. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    7553 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: Dorset, UK

    View original reply
    weddingdiva2016:  I think it is very sad when people get EXACTLY what they want but then want something more because they compare themselves with others. If I were your Fiance I would have been very hurt and upset.

    The topic ‘Moral dilemma’ is closed to new replies.

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