Morbid post: how do you deal with the idea of death?

posted 12 months ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
7906 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Somehow, the idea doesn’t bother me that much, though that’s probably because it seems like such a far-off thing so I just ignore it. I am agnostic and so I don’t really believe in the afterlife, but I dunno…I’m more torn up about the possibility of my husband dying before me or something like that than my own demise! 

It’s interesting though – dh is extremely disturbed by the thought of death. He gets really uncomfortable and depressed anytime it comes up. I know it’s something he’s working on in therapy as well cause it bothers him that much. For me, I guess I just kinda cope by putting it out of my mind…

Post # 3
Member
661 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I’m not sure death is the final thing it seems to be. I’m not really looking forward to the process of dying, and am heartbroken at the idea that my loved ones will also have to. But I’m more curious than scared about what comes after.

Post # 4
Member
900 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 1984

tiffanybruiser :  This sounds like my husband and I – he gets upset just thinking about it. I work in the ICU so frequently deal with dying patients and supporting their grieving families through the process. Maybe ’cause I’ve experienced it so much I mostly don’t think about it but when I do, I kinda get sad that my family will go on without me and they’ll miss me. Bizzarely, I also get sad thinking that I’ll miss out on all of the amazing scientific discoveries and advances humanity will make.

I worry most about having a “good” death – pain free, no tubes and surrounded by those I love. So many of our patients have horrible, painful deaths mostly because families can’t bear the thought of loosing them and so are unable to make the ultimate loving decision.

Everyone should have a living will outlining their wishes in case of critical illness.

Post # 5
Member
584 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017 - Nepal

I try not to waste my energy on things outside of my control because it warrants unnecessary stress. I have no idea when or how I will go. I do on occasion joke with my husband that if my death somehow makes the news, he better provide a flattering picture. 😂

Post # 6
Member
742 posts
Busy bee

 

At some point in my life, I was suicidal. Death didn’t seem scary to me because living had been too painful. I kept going everyday through small things. For example, I liked a TV show so I would live another week for a new episode. If I wasn’t scared of dying. I shouldn’t be scared of living as long as I find joy in something. But now I love living so much, death has become far more daunting. 

Someone said something like, “What’s after death isn’t scary because it’s the same as before your birth, you’re not sad thinking about the time before you existed, it just was.” That brought me some peace of mind. I also think about it from a religious perspective for comfort. Buddhist reincarnation and Christian idea of heaven. 

SO sees a lot of death in his work at the hospital. I think for me, what’s scarier than death is a hard time passing. Whether that’s pain from illness or violence, or passing away alone. 

I find that I worry a lot more about other people passing. For example, my loved ones or even my animals, rather than my own. 

I deal with this fear by being happy everyday. Even on days where my GAD is particularly bad or I have to do something dreadful or something tragic has occurred- I find a reason to smile. Because I want to treasure the time I have and others have. Because everyday is someone’s last (but also someone else’s first!) 

I got rambly. Sorry! 

Post # 7
Member
4497 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

I am religious and so my faith gives me strength and a feeling of calm when thinking of death. I know we are here on earth for a very short time, no one is guaranteed a long or good life. I also really believe that we are all put here for a reason, to fulfill a certain goal/plan, and that our life span is pre-destined. Our life here isn’t the destination, in a blink of an eye it is over, afterlife is the finish. So that’s what gives me comfort.

Post # 8
Member
826 posts
Busy bee

I feel very oddly about death. I’ll be lying in bed, thinking all of my normal human thoughts, and it occurs to me that at some point, there won’t be thoughts or consciousness or emotions or anything. There will just be nothing. A cessation of my humanity, a dark void where my mind is. 

I’m an atheist, so I see no life or world after death. I feel less scared about it than I used to, but it still disturbs me. 

Post # 9
Member
9573 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I figure by the time it happens I won’t care one way or another cause i’ll be dead. 

Post # 10
Member
6178 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

lauralaura123 :  Funny I happened to see this bc we put our dog down today and are really having a hard night. I’d love to believe there’s something else out there –

Post # 11
Member
6178 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

bubbles00 :  Love this idea.

Post # 12
Member
7710 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I worked in hospice care for 13 years so I have watched literally thousands of people die. There is definitely such a thing as a “good death”- surrounded by loved ones with good caregivers and excellent pain control. That is what I hope for when my time comes. As for what happens after, I don’t really know.

Post # 13
Member
3093 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

I find it much harder to cope with the finality of other peoples’ deaths than my own. I figure when I die I’m just gone and that’s that. It’s the losing others that’s the hard part. 

I take comfort in enjoying life while I have it and trying not to take the people I love for granted. 

Post # 14
Member
266 posts
Helper bee

sboom :  To this point, I saw a meme today about how you should be happy whenever you see the name “Mom” pop up on your phone screen because one day you’ll never see it again…and it’s got me fucked upppp. 

Post # 15
Member
380 posts
Helper bee

I work at an animal hospital where death isn’t the last resort, but rather a loving and kind option. 

I guess I cope by being death positive.  Western culture treats death as too taboo. 

I suggest “Ask A Mortician” on youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CN7ZD9uw7LQ

Death is the end game, unavoidable and sometimes I find relief in that. One day I’ll be dead and all my friend and family will be dead and nothing will have really mattered, except for in those moments that it did matter. 

I’m not really afraid of dying. Once I’m dead there won’t be anything.  Pain is temporary. 

Though, a couple times a year I’ll become overwhelmed with the idea that my cat, that I’ve had for almost 13 years–half my life come this August will die and I’m scared what life will be like after him. I don’t know how to cope with that.

My fiance is terrfied of death. Of him dying and others dying.

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