Morbid post: how do you deal with the idea of death?

posted 12 months ago in Emotional
Post # 31
Hostess
3707 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Whenever I think about death and whatever comes next, I think about the 1st Law of Thermodynamics. Energy can neither be created nor destroyed. So when we die, our energy is still sticking around, just in a different form. So I don’t really worry about dying. I am still VERY sad when someone close to me passes, like my Father-In-Law has been gone for 2 years and my heart still hurts. But I still talk to him because I know the energy that was him is literally still here in some form or another. So I definitely don’t believe in any kind of Heaven, I have no desire to still be ME when I pass, but I like that I am part of this giant whole and everyone and everything is still part of it, just in a different manner. 

Post # 32
Member
369 posts
Helper bee

lauralaura123 :  I don’t see death or suffering as a bad thing. They are opportunities for us to practice compassion and mercy. And a creator must impose suffering upon its best creation, as we as humans would make our creations suffer. In Westworld (HBO series) we create artificial intelligence/hosts who follow a certain programming. Any experience or pain are artificial as they are wiped out every day and hosts have no memory of it. This was Eden. Through suffering and remembering, the hosts are able to ‘wake up’. 

When we die, we leave memories imprinted onto the people left behind. Memories and instructions on how to recreate our lives within memories live on.

Post # 33
Member
2855 posts
Sugar bee

The thought of my own death doesn’t really scare me, the thought of my husband or family dying does though. I’ve had a lot of loss in my life already though so I know that you just get through it even if you don’t fully get over it. I mostly just try not to think about it. 

I figure that when you’re dead you don’t care about things like ice cream and dancing because you’re dead. Either because you don’t exist in any form anymore or because you exist in a form that goes beyond those things. You don’t have a body so you don’t even have the ability to want to eat ice cream and move around to music in a specific way.

Post # 34
Member
83 posts
Worker bee

The timing of this post is odd, as I’ve been thinking a lot about my own mortality. This is the first time in my life that I’ve really recognized the fact that I won’t be here forever. It is quite scary for me to think that the world will go on without me. I was raised Catholic and as I am getting older, I realize having the believe of heaven or an afterlife is comforting. 

I do agree with PPs that the thought of losing others can be more heartbreaking. I have definitely made it a point to visit with my family more often even when the busy of day to day can consume me. 

Post # 35
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

This post will be very religion-centered, because I’m part of the 99% of the world’s population that believes in a higher power of some sort lol.

Death is a natural part of life. -Yoda, Star Wars 

No, but seriously, Yoda has a point. I think the more we cling to a purpose outside of a physical manifestation, the less death frightens us, just like Yoda did not fear death because he believed in the Force. I hear this from people of every religion, throughout the whole world. There is a certain power that religion gives people, especially since the idea of death is such an unknown. 

We cannot pretend to assume that we know how God should rule the world. In Catholicism, that’s a sin that we call pride. Saying that we could do better than God by letting all babies and all animals live forever makes our egos climb all the way to sky, and it doesn’t fix any problems. My priest once told a story about a man who was blaming God for all the problems and why the hell God wasn’t fixing anything and God just rolls his eyes and goes, “Joe, for goodness’ sakes, I am fixing these problems. I made you.” 

Kinda silly to blame God for the world’s problems when all we do is sit on a couch eating sweet potato fries and watching Gilmore Girls. But it’s also so EASY to just blame God. It’s easy to blame anyone besides ourselves.

The idea of death itself, for me, is one that I’ve handled through my life as not something final, but something blessed. Death is not the end – it’s only the beginning – but we have to see it that way. Catholics like to joke that, well, if ice cream and dancing are all you care about, then God will give it to you in heaven. My mom can’t eat any flour and sugar and YEARNS for the day she dies and gets to heaven and finally gets to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. 

But in seriousness, Catholicism also teaches that, when we die and go to heaven, for goodness’ sakes, we won’t WANT those things. We’ll have much better things. 

I do fear an unannounced death. I think everyone in the world does, and that’s only natural. But I’m not afraid of BEING dead, and I gladly look forward to a peaceful death, in my sleep or surrounded by my loved ones. Everyone deserves the right to die in such a peace. 

Post # 36
Member
209 posts
Helper bee

Olivepepper :  Thanks for your comment. I’d like to clarify that Fiance was in a really rough spot and because he was experiencing grief as he never had before, he sought professional help because he wanted ssome guidance in his feelings and didn’t want to ignore potential signs of depression. I was glad that the counselor validated that his concerns were likely unfounded and seemed to be very honest and transparent about grief. We respected him even more for his humility in saying that FI wasn’t feeling anything out of the ordinary and that further sessions probably wouldn’t help any faster than time.

Obviously, this entire time period is very raw to me, and I do not mean to blindly defend Fiance or the counselor. I do, however, support FI’s decision to discontinue and don’t think that long term therapy is always the best answer or the only way to “unpack.” I support professional help as a tool in general and don’t want my post to discourage anyone from seeking it.

Post # 37
Member
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

megm1099 :  What’s silly, in my opinion, is to believe there’s a magical benevolent being up in the cosmos witnessing all the cruelty that transpires here and does nothing. Shaming people for not doing more really doesn’t help when a child is kidnapped and brutally raped and tortured to death in the middle of nowhere. When no one but your God could’ve saved them. Maybe he was too busy watching Gilmore Girls. 

 

What’s EASY is to believe there’s a happily ever after waiting for you after this life. A religious security blanket if you will. 

 

You can express your beliefs without shitting on someone else’s.

Post # 38
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

daysgoneby :  Hey whoa. I said my post was going to be relligiously-biased – no reason to be cruel about this. People all view and deal with death differently, and I was coming from the religious standpoint. I’m shaming no one – all I’m doing is expressing the (very realistic) belief that thinking God will fix all your problems is silly. XD I don’t think ANYONE really believes that God will fix ALL the world’s problems just to prove he exists. 

Take your own advice and “express your beliefs without shitting on someone else’s” lol

Post # 39
Member
7912 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

megm1099 :  Interesting perspective. I am curious, why do you think it makes sense to give God credit for everything good that happens in the world, but take him out of the equation when bad things happen? I’m not shitting on your beliefs, just curious how you wrangle with this. 

This passage from The Mysterious Stranger by Mark Twain hits on some interesting points that I used to struggle with a lot when I was Christian:

“Strange, indeed, that you should not have suspected that your universe and its contents were only dreams, visions, fiction! Strange, because they are so frankly and hysterically insane — like all dreams: a God who could make good children as easily as bad, yet preferred to make bad ones; who could have made every one of them happy, yet never made a single happy one; who made them prize their bitter life, yet stingily cut it short; who gave his angels eternal happiness unearned, yet required his other children to earn it; who gave his angels painless lives, yet cursed his other children with biting miseries and maladies of mind and body; who mouths justice and invented hell — mouths mercy and invented hell — mouths Golden Rules, and forgiveness multiplied by seventy times seven, and invented hell; who mouths morals to other people and has none himself; who frowns upon crimes, yet commits them all; who created man without invitation, then tries to shuffle the responsibility for man’s acts upon man, instead of honorably placing it where it belongs, upon himself; and finally, with altogether divine obtuseness, invites this poor, abused slave to worship him!…”

Post # 40
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

tiffanybruiser :  Who says I give God credit for all of the good things in the world? ๐Ÿ™‚ Sometimes people work very hard for good things and deserve the credit. 

It’s very hard to blame God for bad things when it’s people that do the bad things, and not God. That’s what Satan is for. Catholics believe that Satan is the root of evil and God is the root of good. Give credit where credit is due, am I right? ๐Ÿ™‚

I wonder if people genuinely do not realize that Satan has just as much power over us as God in this age of our world. 

If you’re interested more on what Catholics believe, there are one or two websites out there for your curiosity ๐Ÿ˜‰ Otherwise, I think we’re taking away from the purpose of the thread lol. You can also PM me!

Post # 41
Member
152 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

megm1099 :  I think she was pointing out with heavy sarcasm how condescending your post came across to anyone who doesn’t believe what you believe. It’s very preachy and you can’t be that obtuse. So many people have done so much more good than “God” has ever done. People have given their lives to help others because they are good people. Sitting around “watching Gilmore Girls” is such a strange thing to say to illustrate what exactly, that people are lazy and God is the only reason anyone ever does anything selfless?

Post # 42
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

spearmint :  I was sarcastic too XD I like to paint vivid, dramatic pictures because of the crazy response it gets lolol

If you read my posts I mention that I give credit where credit is due. People give their lives for good causes. My fiance is in Afghanistan, so I’m not being “obtuse” – I’m being realistic. IF you are the type of person to whine about God while doing nothing but spreading cruelty and hatred and anger, then you’re being silly. How can goodness come from God if no goodness comes from you? That’s my entire point. 

As long as Satan’s got you by the throat, God can’t take you by the hand. Or some silly embroidery-on-a-pillow-at-my-grandmother’s-house quote like that. XD

Post # 43
Member
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

spearmint :  Nailed it.

megm1099 :  Right, it’s only okay when you do it. Glad you have Satan to explain away all the less than desirable things that happen in this world. That makes sense. 

Post # 44
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

daysgoneby :  Sarcasm is fun, yes. ๐Ÿ˜€

Post # 45
Member
7912 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

megm1099 :  I was talking more about bad things that are truly the fault of no one. Like natural disasters, or a terrible accident that kills a child. If a tragedy occurs – like a flood that wipes out a village – and one person survives, many Christians would praise God for saving that one person….but what about everyone else who died? Does God not get blamed for that?

And I don’t see why Satan would have more power than God; God created Satan, no? If Satan “has more power,” it’s only because God allows it, right? God created Satan knowing full well that Satan would rebel and cause all kinds of agony for everyone, since God is all-knowing. Likewise, every single human being God created, he did so knowing every move they’d make, whether they’d end up “good” or “bad.” Do you ever wonder what would have motivated God to do that – to create the world in the first place? Like was he just bored or something? I used to wonder about it a lot.

I am somewhat familiar with Catholic theology – was raised in the Eastern Orthodox church, which has a lot of similarities. Yes, I could Google these questions to find out the Catholic church’s exact stance, but I find it interesting to discuss these things with individuals, since people have such different perspectives and life experiences that brought them to their faith (or lack thereof). Didn’t see it as being totally off topic but happy to drop it if you’d rather not get into it.

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