Morbid post: how do you deal with the idea of death?

posted 12 months ago in Emotional
Post # 61
Member
9642 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

I don’t dwell on it much. 

I am aware that childbirth is somewhat dangerous, especially here in the United States (versus the other countries I could easily give birth in.. Canada where I grew up and some of my family lives, or Spain where the rest of my family is).  Unfortunately my job is here and travelling close to my due date isn’t allowed so.. here I am.  I’m focusing on the fact it’s still pretty unlikely.. and getting a good will ready just in case.

What more can we do? 🤷

Post # 62
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

daysgoneby :  I wasn’t clear and I’m sorry. I clarified in another post (which you obviously didn’t read but that’s okay). We don’t believe children go to Purgatory. Just adults. Children go to heaven. 

Your SIL sounds like a fkn jerk. No true Christian damns people to hell. That’s not our job. Only God knows who is going to hell and who isn’t. 

Allow me to educate you about Catholicism. I don’t know what type of Catholicism your in-laws practice, but it sure isn’t a good one XD Actually in their defense, it’s the old one. Before Vatican II (a council of cardinals in the 1950s that refreshed some rules and dogma of the faith), that’s what was believed. That original sin was hell-bound. In the 1950’s this was changed. Adults with original sin go to Purgatory, but innocent children, miscarried, murdered, or just simply died, do not go to hell OR Purgatory, but heaven. Your in-laws sound like they are stuck in the 1950s (which isn’t an insane possibility if they are older). 

I’m truly sorry your experience with Catholicism has been so negative, truly. There are some messed-up people in every religion, but Vatican II, while it long-term did some GREAT things, did create a temporary rift in the faith. A lot of people, especially in the older population, are still stuck in the old ways. It might take another generation to weed out the growing pains.

Post # 63
Member
999 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

megm1099 :  “Only God knows who is going to hell and who isn’t.” “In the 1950’s this was changed. Adults with original sin go to Purgatory, but innocent children, miscarried, murdered, or just simply died, do not go to hell OR Purgatory, but heaven.”

Doesn’t your first statement contradict your latter one?

Post # 64
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

wineosaur :  Not really, but this can be a confusing topic for many XD We don’t damn people to hell, but we believe that certain things can be done to greatly influence the possibiltiy you will go to hell (which is 100% realisitc). For example, Hitler. Everything he did was awful and if it were up to the dogma of the faith, he would be in hell.

But we can’t just peek our heads in the door of hell and check if he really IS there lol – in the end we can have all the dogma and all the rules, but it’s God’s choice regardless.

Saying “YOU WILL GO TO HELL” is wrong. Saying “well okay this holocaust you created and the fact you killed 6 million Jews, dude, is probably gonna get you into hell, my bro” is more accurate lol

But infants and children do none of these things. Hence, we believe they go to heaven.

Post # 65
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

tiffanybruiser :  Same here. My Fiance is 8 years my senior. I’m terrified.

Post # 66
Member
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

megm1099 :  I read your reply, it just didn’t go along with what I’ve been told from Catholics in my own life. They are definitely the older generation, so that must account for the differences you’re referring to. I wasn’t aware of that change, so thanks for clarifying. 

Post # 67
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

I work with people who are diagnosed with dementia/alzheimer’s. It was terrifying for me at first. But now, these folks have full lives inside their own heads even if we don’t see it all. I completely recommend spending time with aged folks. You will learn a whole lot. 

Post # 68
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

daysgoneby :  Not a problem! If you want to learn more, there are a ton of websites out there explaining this and other changes since Vatican II that cause a lot of confusion between younger and older people. 

As for your SIL though, she’s a special kind of elitist jerk. I wanna punch her lol

Post # 69
Member
2337 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I don’t really fear my own death. I try to live my life as clean as possible and by God’s graces to be with him in the afterlife. I think a lot of peoply here are sadly ill-informed about Christianity. A lot of the Old Testament stories are meant to be taken allegorically. I recommend the book Mere Christianity by C.S Lewis for better insight on Christianity.

As far as why bad things happen I simply do not know and you know what that’s ok with me. How I rationalise it is like this. My son was really sick and I had to wake him up to take some yucky medicine and make sure he stayed hydrated. He was miserable when I did this all he wanted to do was sleep. As far as he knew I was being mean to him forcing something he did not want on him, but I saw the bigger picture and couldn’t explain it to him in a way he’d understand. I’m not too conceited to admit I’m too limited to understand God’s full wisdom and hopefully someday I will. It DOES NOT mean it makes sense to turn my back on what I reasoned to be truth because of my limited knowledge. This life is such a small blip in the grand scheme of eternity in any case.

Personally, what I don’t understand is trusting that other’s morality would all be up to the same standards as yours. I once met someone who was so selfish and nihilistic in his thinking it gave me chills. Heck even some bees comments here give me pause (I once read a bee said she’ll save her pet lizard from a house fire than a disabled child) I digress, but it just goes to show the live and let live mantra can take us down a very inhumane path.

 

 

Post # 70
Member
1366 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

I don’t fear death in general, including my own. I really hope that it’s a relatively pain-free death, but don’t dwell on the idea of my death, since that’s a future problem. Death is sad, and I mourn the loss of good beings in my life, but I also accept it as a part of life, and take comfort in that they are now free of pain. 

I’m an atheist, so I believe that after death is like before birth, simply nothing. To me, that’s peaceful, and nothing to be afraid of. If there ends up being different afterlives, I’ll find out and focus on it then. It doesn’t make sense to me to live my life entirely in preparation for after my death. That’s a lot of effort and restricting of personal freedoms for unknown beings and places, in my opinion.

Post # 71
Member
1582 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t worry about it too much.  When it comes up, my response is ususally something along the lines of, “I won’t care, I’ll be dead.”  

 

Post # 72
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee

caligirl3 :  

it is a heartbreaking realization when you know you’ll never get that call or text again from mom. Losing her made me live differently, love deeper and cherish the ones I still have. The few unanswered texts and many emails from years ago leave me up crying at night. I wish I had understood more before her death but it took losing her to learn those valuable and painful lessons about life. 

Post # 73
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Some days I am so overwhelmed with life that death would be a sweet relief.

I have been actively suicidal and off for a long time (actively is when you actually are contemplating or thinking of how you would do it or that one day you will). Nowadays i am on/off passively suicidal (when im overwhelmed or sad or otherwise miserable, the tought of “well how nice it would be if I wasnt here dealling with all of this crap” enters my mind. But not actually planning anything, and will never go through with it).

All of this aside.. When I die I want to be cremated and my ashes to be put in the ground with a tree seeds or something. So that I can grow into a big beautiful tree. Of course I want a good death. As a nurse I have seen a lot of pain and suffering and I have worked a lot in a nursing home, and some of my patients took years to die they were in pain and miserable and not happy to be alive at almost 100 y.o. i definatelly dont want to get to that age and state of health were you are qaiting and praying for sweed death to come already like a lot of my patients were. 

I am not religious in the traditional sence of the word. I do believe that nature is the force and energy, and technically “god” I believe we come from nature, and we go back to nature when we die and other things are born. It’s cyclical. Hence the tree idea. Im not sure what the purpose of all of this is but taking care of the planet and all living beings is a big one for sure.

Post # 74
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

lauralaura123 :  I try not to think about it too much, but if it does cross my mind, I just remind myself that I had no fear or grief before I was born, surely it’s the same thing.  

Post # 75
Member
865 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I’m slowly getting better with my fear of dying.   I no longer think every physical ailment is a sign of my impending death and I’m slowly realizing that I’m not going to be “missing out on life” when I do die.  Now I’m more afraid of dying from something like ALS, or how my family would cope with my death.  I’m also scared of my husband dying before me.  On a side note. I don’t know how I feel about God.  My family,  and some of my husband’s family,  are very religious and I see the peace their faith brings them.  I know people have done some horrible things in the name of God but they’ve also done some wonderful things as well.  I’m not sure why some people are calling out others here to defend their belief of God.  This whole thread is about death and God plays a major part of it for some people.   

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors