Post # 1
I’m probably unusually jumpy about this due to the very unexpected death of my grandfather a few months ago bit I worry about this with my boyfriend. He’s an ocean again and his job takes him traveling all over the country. The roads are terrible, emergency services slow and he was in an accident a few months ago. His family has met me but they don’t speak a word of English. I’m scared that he could die and I would not know anything for months or ever…years down the line wondering if had died or if he had just met someone else. Thinking about losing him is terrifying enough, but knowing that I probably wouldn’t know anything makes it even worse.
Does anyone else worry about this?
Post # 3
i do worry about this, we lost my stepdad several years ago, and remebering not being able to get ahold of him kills me. I freak out, and always think the worst when i cant get ahold of my mom, or FI.
Post # 4
I think you all should set up a plan in order for everyone to be notified. Whatever that is is up to you all to decide.
Post # 5
I do worry about this, as well, but I take comfort in the fact that they people in his life on the other side of the country would tell me immediately. His friends, daughter, and family all have my phone number/email/FB so someone would contact me. I worry about it more for myself, because our mutual friends don’t live near me and my family isn’t exactly friendly with him, and I live alone. I’ve even contemplated getting an ID bracelet with his name/cell phone engraved so that if something happened, the police/hospital could call him.
Post # 6
An interesting question. I thought about this with my dad when he moved across the country and lived somewhere where there was no family. I didn’t even know the phone number for his office. Probably should have gotten it. Thankfully, he got close to a couple while he was there and when he had his appendix rupture, they contacted me via Facebook (they had seen me on his page).
I agree with PPs: set up a plan and ask to be notified.
Post # 7
Yeah, I’m not at all worried about my side of things. My parents are very clear-minded under pressure and I know they would make sure he was notified within a day or two. They also know their way around email/FB/skype. I don’t think his family would deliberately exclude me but not even know how to convey the news to me since they don’t speak English and very few people in their area speak English and they also aren’t proficent with internet communication. Even having some sort of card with my contact info on his person wouldn’t do any good since emergency workers probably don’t speak English either…
Thank god for Facebook at least.
Post # 8
I think our likely routes of information would be friends. His friends would probably tell me, and I’d have to tell his family. Right now (sadly) if I died, it would go unnoticed for a few days because i’ve been keeping to myself, studying. He would think it strange that if I didn’t answer his texts, but he’d probably just assume I was sleeping. But once I’m done with this test my friends would tell him and he’d be able to tell my family.
Post # 9
This crossed my mind when I was in a LDR with FI. We were only about 1.5 hours away, but the thought that something could’ve happened to him while we were apart was often there. I would get upset if he wouldn’t answer my texts or phone call. I know his mom would’ve told me if something did though.
Post # 10
Yes I would know. No, I don’t “worry” (too much) about it. Even when we didn’t live together he put me down on all his important documents, including contact details on his passport (which I thought was silly since we rarely travelled apart at the time, but now he travels frequently I’m kind of glad he did). When he signs up for stuff he always puts me down as his “next of kin” or emergency contact even though legally I’m not. At least in an emergency though I know I’ll be contacted.
If I wasn’t contacted, if he was unconcious in hospital for instance (God forbid), they would no doubt contact his mum who I have a brilliant relationship with. In fact she’d probably call me before his Dad.
Sometimes I worry when he’s been out in the evening and doesn’t respond until late the following day (because he’s hungover). Logically I know he’s probably fine, and at worst he’s dropped his phone in the river or something. But I think it’s natural to worry about the people we love.
We are LDR for literally 3 more days. Can’t wait until we’re together full time again.
Post # 11
I always worried about this when we were dating even though we were only four hours apart. Then I found out he’d put me on the notification list even though we went married (he is military). Now that we are married, I’m automatically notified anyway.
Post # 12
I would find out shortly after anyone knew. I should be the first contact as the next of kin. If he were to die, it would probably be work related (even just driving) and they would not want to delay their notification as that could create some big legal issues for them.
Post # 13
I worry too… my fiance works on a ship (drives the boat) in the Gulf of Mexico.
Post # 14
i worried about this when i was in london and he was in mexico – it occurred to me that he was the only one who had my contact details…and like you i was thinking that if he died, no one would tell me and i would eventually assume he just got tired of me and stopped talking to me
now i live with my fi so id know if he didnt come home
Post # 15
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
A lot of states have added ICE (in case of emergency) contact information to driver’s licenses. In Florida you can set it up online. That way if he’s in an accident or admitted at the hospital he will hopefully have his driver’s license and they know to contact the ICE person. I also have my FI listed under ICE in my cell phone.
Post # 16
yes, i worry….he is in afghanistan and i’m in texas. i do talk with his family though and they talk almost every day. so i’m hopeful they would notify me!