Post # 1
- Wedding: August 2015 - Alexander Homestead
Bees, I had a moment this morning and I have come to grips with exactly what it is I have been feeling these last few weeks. Saw another FB post of a younger friend from high school who just got engaged after 5 years. SO and I have been together now 7 yrs, 2 months and just moved in together this year. I know that I am happy for her but at the moment of reading her post (a post which makes her LITTERALLY the 17 or 18 person I know to get engaged and/or married in the last 9 months!) I honestly, truly did not care to hear about it. And that isn’t like me to not celebrate in someone else’s joy.
SO and I already have a wedding date selected, already have begun wedding planning, have talked about rings and I know he is either paying it off or already has it (he just didn’t want me involved in the selection process at all) so we are just waiting for the clock to tick by until the perfect date comes around according to his plan (which all he has said will be no later than June of next year ). I am not trying to rush our lives along and I really want to enjoy each phase but we are going on 7.5 years at the “Girlfriend/Boyfriend” stage and I am just really tired of calling this man my Boyfriend! I wanted a full 2 years of being able to enjoy being his fiancee before being his wife but we have already crossed our 2 year threshold before the Big Day and we are still Girlfriend and Boyfriend. I know it’s crazy to think but I am finally acknowledging something that has been at the back of my mind for the longest and that is that, to me, there is a bit more maturity and class that seems to be added to your relationship when he is more than just your “boyfriend.” He is 34 and I just turned 30 and if we had just started dating a couple of years ago, him being my boyfriend would be a no-brainer. At this point in our lives, however, I’m BEYOND ready to “dress up” our relationship a bit more.
Thank you for letting me rant a bit. Let me know if I am just being crazy this morning.
Post # 3
@ComputerLove06: nope! You are not crazy at all! I think engagement sounds more appetizing now than the actual marriage because at least with an engagement, you know you’ll be one step closer to being husband and wife. Right now, you’re still boyfriend and girlfriend and you have exhausted this stage or the relationship. I swear, these guys have no idea what it means to be a waiting bee! 😉
Post # 4
@ComputerLove06: HAHA well first of all I’m sorry to hear that you are dealing with this.
Yes waiting can be stressful and facebook doesn’t help ANYTHING!! I’ve had to get off of it. People getting engaged, over the top proposals, wedding showers/bridal showers/bach. parties/rehearsal dinners/weddings AND THEN babies ugh. Maybe it’ll help you to not see this because for me-It’s a reminder of the things I want that I DON’T have yet.
I am excited to be married but *at this moment* I’m more excited for the engagement. We won’t be getting married without the engagement and I honestly feel like this moment has to happen FIRST before I can allow myself to get excited about the rest.
I get what you are saying. I think the only way your statement would be a problem is if you said “I’m more excited to have a wedding than marriage” because then that’s a problem.
But I’m with you—There is soooo much anticipation once you and your SO talk about ‘being married’ and most men want to be the one to ask and they get drag it out…UGH. You and I might have an annoucement around the same time, it’ll probably be around summer of next year. And I’m 30 too…so sometimes it gets to me when younger people who have been together less time get engaged and it’s not their fault, it’s just frustrating.
Post # 5
- Wedding: April 2014 - Rebar
@ArmyBeee: +1!!!! These man honestly have no clue what it is to wait!!! It’s been 10 years for me. I am so done waiting lol
Post # 6
I’ve totally found myself pondering this as well!
Do men know what it’s like to be a waiting bee? Okay maybe not per se …BUT I’ve wondered what it’s like once a man decides he wants to marry a woman…then he has the pressure of saving up for a ring or figuring out if he wants to do this on credit, then selecting the ring, OH BOY and then the actual proposal haha.
In my mind…I HOPE that my man is wanting to get married as much as I do and for us it’s him finishing school, getting a job, and having the money for a ring. At least it’s the impression I get when we talk
Post # 7
You definitely aren’t being crazy, but I think this is exactly why it’s not a good idea for couples to plan a wedding before an engagement! I think it gets you antsy and makes you overthink things and it kind of puts a damper on this stage of the relationship because you’re bitter that it’s not at the next stage yet. I’d be upset too, but all you can do is be patient and hang in there girl!