- 8 years ago
I thought things blew over on the misunderstanding about dinner, but apparently not. This weekend I was out with my best friend, who I have not seen in about a month. Mr. Tacos informed me it was FMIL’s birthday, and could I please call her. So I did, it went straight to voicemail, and I left a message apologizing I could not be there (as he didn’t tell me until that day).
While I was out with my friend, I get an email from Mr. Tacos saying his mom did NOT get a voicemail, that my call didn’t show up in her call log, and could I please try again? 10 minutes later I get another email saying the VM finally came up.
I brushed it off. Mr. Tacos arrived home Sunday and had a serious conversation with me. Apparently when he took his mother out to lunch, she had said it was nice having Future Sister-In-Law over and how she helps around the kitchen, etc. Apparently she then said that I never help, which is totally untrue because I have ALWAYS asked to help and she tells me not to worry about it. She also brought up the dinner situation again and how she feels slighted. I am sure much more was said, but he hasn’t told me. I sat there with my mouth open and I didn’t say anything for a long time. I’m hurt that she said these things. I can understand if it was just the dinner misunderstanding, but now she has told him I never offer to help her and also she buys me gifts and does so much. I had to actually remind Mr. Tacos how many gifts I’ve gotten her over the last few months, and how I offer to help her do whatever is needed.
He understands and has taken my side on points I’ve brought up. He said he will be more aware of our interactions now, which is fine. But I never wanted this. I don’t want a Future Mother-In-Law who doesn’t like me, and I have no idea how to tackle it. Future Sister-In-Law and I are different people. She is ENGAGED and I am not. She has been a part of the family for 8 years and I have been with Mr. Tacos for 10 months.
I am not one for friction, but he believes there is friction now between myself and his parents respectively. I haven’t done anything wrong.
I love him and he is absolutely worth the fight. But where do I even begin to try to mend this? He wants to be present during the discussion we have, so he has invited her to dinner on Friday before she goes out of town. I have thought about having a phone call, but he said this should probably be discussed in person. I have also thought of driving the 60 mile trip to her house some evening alone… but I’m afraid she’s just going to say she doesn’t like me.
What would you do? He’s now saying he feels I should act like a future daughter in law, but this isn’t the way I was raised. I’m not engaged and I feel pulled into a direction I haven’t gotten the right to be in.