(Closed) More mothers getting abortions. Thoughts on how media portrays ladies who abort?

posted 9 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Abortion is still a huge taboo.  It is easier for people to accept teenagers getting abortions because “they have their whole life ahead of them” rather then mothers who are happily married with children already.  Look at your response here on weddingbee. No one wants to accept a happily married mother aborting a child.  However, with the US sliding deeper and deeper into a recession, I believe this trend will increase.

Post # 4
Member
527 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I believe that the increase in abortions is mainly due to the fact that they are readily available and there are some great government services available to women that decide abortion is an option for them.  Originally, I thought that an abortion was something silly teenage girls would do after playing around and getting pregnant out of naivety.  However, my opinions have changed since I had to experience it.  I was in a serious relationship (4 years with my now FI) and we were all for safe sex but for some reason the contraception failed.  I was 20 when I had one and I felt very guilty and hated that I decided to make that horrible decision.  Anyway, I went to the clinic where they do them and the staff were amazing which made me feel better.  In the waiting room there were women of all ages, highschool students, people in their 20s and 30s, even a few women over 40.. 

So my opinion of people seeking abortion completely changed and I now see it as a positive tool women have available to them allowing them to choose when they are ready to have children.  Since I have experienced it I have done a lot of research and read a lot of blogs and I have become even more aware that a large number of married women have had them, even those who already have small children (usually because they didn’t want to have their children so close together). 

I guess what I am trying to say is that abortion is not something that should be judged or looked down upon and it is something that you should see as an opportunity and an important medical advance which gives women sexual freedom and choice in their life plans.  In Australia where I live, there are different options in relation to abortion, a surgical approach (when you get put to sleep and they manually miscarry the preganancy), and then the medical approach which I selected (when you take pills which cause your body to miscarry the pregnancy “naturally” so you can go through the experience in the comfort of your own home). 

Anyone that has to go through this, no matter what age, marital status, or socio-economic background deserves respect. 

Post # 5
Member
2582 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@HawaiiBamaBride:   exactly this.

 

It takes away a huge argument of the anti abortion crowd who like to paint abortion as something that desperate, ignorant, fearful teenage girls do – that or “sluts” with no morals – when the truth is – thats just not the case.  Unwanted pregnancy affects women from every age, race, and socioeconomic status, from elite and educated to homeless. 

Situations are rarely as simple or black and white as special interest groups make them out to be. No matter where you stand on the abortion issue, stats like that can’t be ignored, because they make it clear that life is a lot more complicated than what a bunch of people yelling and holding signs make it out to be.

Post # 6
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I will share my personal experience in hopes to let other women know that it’s not always the young, irresponsible, teenage girls that get abortions.  I had an abortion about 4 years ago, at the age of 26.  I was with my boyfriend at the time for 3+ years and contraception also failed. 

I have epilepsy and take a strong anti convulsant medication.  I didn’t know at the time that for whatever reason epilepsy medication makes hormonal birth contral ineffective.  It’s a weird, random side effect that doctors can’t explain. 

The epilepsy medication that I was on at the time (I am now on a better one that wasn’t available then) causes severe birth defects like spina bifida and still birth.  I consulted with 7 different doctors to get their professional opinion, before I made the decision to terminate my pregnancy.

If the circumstances were different and I would’ve been able to have a normal, healthy pregnancy, instead of a high risk one, I wouldn’t have chosen to have an abortion.  I was never told about the epilepsy medication/ineffective birth control side effect and had no idea about it.  I know now!  And have been cautious.  DH and I don’t want kids either, and have taken steps to avoid an unwanted pregnancy.

I hope this thread doesn’t turn into a nasty debate about pro-life or pro-choice, I think it’s positive to be able to share personal situations that don’t fit the typical abortion stigma.  And as another PP mentioned, abortion is never black or white, and sometimes people have to make the choice for reasons other than just being irresponsible.  

Post # 7
Member
595 posts
Busy bee

The media is silly… I tend to ignore them as best I can, because they seem to usually paint issues in black and white… I don’t agree with how the media portrays almost anything. They like to make stuff seem bad because apparently it makes for better news.

 

As far as I’m concerned, (Pro-choice, encourage life) it is better to terminate a pregnancy early on with abortion, rather than go through and have an unwanted baby, or as the PP said, a child with a birth defect/still born. While it should never be used as a form of birth control, stuff happens. Should you force a woman to go through with a child when the contraception failed? When she was raped? When her child won’t live? All you’ll accomplish is women hurting themselves by seeking less safe methods of abortion.

Post # 8
Member
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

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@kfiorita:

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@mhackney21:

thank you for sharing your stories. I am not at all opposed to abortion, and am glad that we have the avenues we do, to do what is best for us. My husband and I don’t want kids, and are doing what we can to prevent that from happening. Still, until the permanent measures are put into place, there’s the small chance we could have to face this. I hope it never happens, but I’m glad we have choices

 

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@bRooklynRocks: I honestly believe that they keep trying to portray it that way is because they don’t want it to be accepted fully. That way, people won’t try to use it as a form of birth control. If it becomes accepted, then people will be much more lax in their judgments.

I don’t think that way, but that’s just my perspective on what they think will happen. You will newly pregnant women lined up at the abortion clinic every day, just like its the mall *eye roll*

Post # 9
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@Orion: Totally agree about women hurting themselves by less safe methods of abortion. 

I’m fortunate enough to have lived in a country where abortions up until a certain amount of time are legal, with a health care system that paid for the procedure. My contraceptions failed me and I wasn’t in a place where I or the father could’ve taken care of the child that would’ve been there, and I am so grateful to have had the opportunity of a safe, respectful abortion. 

On the other hand, part of my family lives in the Philippines, and the last time I visited, I met a girl that’s a couple of years younger than me and also endet up pregnant. She and the babies father planned on having a back alley abortion. I was so shocked about how they went about and I could tell that the girl was really nervous. I’m kind of glad that they ended up not getting enough money together to pay the “doctor”. She has a beautiful daughter now, and her family is helping her taking care of the child. 

Oh, and when I was in the recovery room after the procedure, I saw 3 middle aged women with rings on their fingers.. two of them crying. That might have been the saddest moment. I think it’s a lot different to make a decision about continuing a pregnancy once you have already had a child.

Post # 10
Member
7774 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I don’t honestly think it’s anyone else’s business if someone has or has not had an abortion.

If abortion was illegal, women would just go to back-alley butchers like they did before Roe vs Wade and like they still do in countries where it is illegal.

Post # 11
Member
2410 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

The picture of the ‘irresponsible teenager’ as teh face of abortion is just so frustrating to me. I can’t imagine already having kids, not being able to afford health insurance, retirement etc and then finding myself pregnant again without the option to terminate. That would be a disaster.

Post # 12
Member
9024 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think it just appeals to peoples sense of logic, that its more likely that an unmarried teenager would get an abortion than a married person or an older woman in a more stable situation.

Post # 13
Member
365 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I can’t help but wonder whether the rise in abortion is linked to the economy. A woman or couple who may have previously considered keeping a baby, may now be in a situation where they do not have a secure job, stable home, or medical insurance. Having children is such a big financial responsibility, I wonder how many people feel they aren’t ready? Personally I could not imagine abortions being illegal. Obviously there needs to be regulations and restrictions in place, but hello¸ my body and my life!

Post # 14
Member
8021 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Very interesting.

Post # 15
Member
3182 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

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@kfiorita:

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@mhackney21:

Thank you for sharing your stories!  Personal stories of people who have dealt with this issue bring another level of awareness to the discussion.  Too often it’s easier just to think about these things in a philosophical or politic way and lose focus on how individuals are effected. 

Post # 16
Member
3367 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I was in a women’s shelter with a middle-aged woman and her three children (a teen, 8 yr  and 6 yr old) and she was heartbroken to have choosen to terminate her pregnancy.  She had gotten pregnant against her will by her husband and was desperate to escape him.  She had no means to support the children she already had and could not imagine bringing another child into “her world.”  She was doing everything she could to protect her family and I watched her sob from the deepest, most intimate place over choosing abortion or another child in an unpredictable, potentially dangerous life.  I’m not sure she was at fully at peace with either decision… I sat in that group and wanted to reach out to her, but that’s a private place to be, you know?  Struggling like that, within yourself.  I won’t judge any woman who has to live with that decision.

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