(Closed) More of my dating woes!

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee

Read the book “he’s just not that into you”. Literally, this book changed my life. I found my fiance on match.com – got engaged 3 months later & married 13 months after that. I could not have found a more wonderful guy. My only advice is to get this book, borrow this book, find someone who has this book, heed it’s advice — THEN start dating again.

Post # 4
Member
2018 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Read the book “he’s just not that into you”. THIS!

Post # 5
Member
1199 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

LOL that book is great!!  I have read it and re-read it sooo many times after a ‘confusing’ guy situation over the years.  Its a little ridiculous at times but it always convinced me to move on.  Just drop that guy, do not waste any time figuring him out or texting him.

Post # 6
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Guys can be very strange. The best thing you can do in this situation is try to pull back a little and let him take charge. When he suggests a date/time, wait at leat 5 or 6 hours then reply yes or no depending on your schedule. That will build up a slight frenzy of anticipation with him and make you seem less ‘available’. Guys get freaked out if a girl seems to into him, he has to chase you a little regardless of how much fun he had on the date. Don’t seem too indifferent though, pull back in some ways but not others. Wait a while to reply, but seem super happy to hear from him in your response. 

Also, I think one mistake you are making is only dating one person at a time. I know it’s easier, but you should absolutely be setting up other dates even if one guy seems like a winner. It will help you by distracting you a little so you will naturally be a little less available.

Good luck!

Post # 8
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Sometimes guys are just weird. Maybe he’s trying to play hard to get or something?  I’m not sure.  I would go out with him once more and then let him set up the next date…don’t take a role in it at all.

Here’s my guys are weird story: I met and gave my Fiance my number.  He didn’t call me for 3 months…because I have the same name as his sister.  ???

Glad he finally called and I remembered who he was lol.

Post # 10
Member
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Go on the date on Monday (if you still want to) since it’s already set up, and if you have fun and want to see the guy again, tell him so.  But let him be the one to plan/initiate the next date.  If he doesn’t, move on.

By The Way, I am anti-asking me out by text.  I’ve never done the online dating thing (and am married so a non-issue), but is this a customary practice for online daters?  If it were me, I’m thinking if you can’t pick up the phone and call me I’m going to say no.

Post # 11
Member
3799 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@sailor: I met Fiance online and I have to say that he first asked me out through an email on the site, since we had not yet exchanged phone numbers, and then he would call me every time after that to ask me out. But he was also a lot older than me, so I think sometimes maturity has something to do with it. Personally, if I was back in the dating world again, I wouldn’t allow someone to casually text me to ask me on our first date. That just seems lazy and immature. Or else he is so caught up in whatever crap he is doing that he cannot pick up the phone, BUT…why is he trying to date if he doesnt have time? ugh!!

Post # 12
Member
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

@soyjoy222: I definitely understand having the first few rounds of communication by email.  But once you’ve reached the comfort level to exchange phone numbers it seems to me that an actual phone call is the right way to plan a date and I agree with you that texting at that point is lazy and immature.

Post # 13
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@eebgniddew: Your post scared me, it’s as if I wrote it!!!! 🙂

Agree ONE HUNDRED PERCENT, READ THAT BOOK!

 

It will change your life. It changed mine, like @eebgniddew after I read the book (or around the same time) I met my now husband, and we were married 2 years later.

Post # 14
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

And about the text thing, I wouldn’t worry about it, I think it’s super common nowadays and everyone communicates by text including asking people out and flirting!!!

 

Even now I still only communicate with my husband by text throughout the day, as we’re both at work and don’t want to have to leave our desks to call each other – texts are just so much more convenient.

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