Post # 1
Hi Bees, I’ve been posting a lot of questions about paying for the wedding, but now I have another question.
Fiancé thinks that our wedding needs to cost upwards of 5000$ or so in order for it to be right. I don’t agree and can’t wrap my head around actually wanting to spend that much of my hard earned money on one single day. I understand that it’s a really important day and all, but we don’t have much to begin with, and I doubt we are going to have that much saved by even the summer of 2017, which we have discussed pushing it back to (from this coming August ).
How can I convince him that something that doesn’t cost a lot can be just as perfect. I actually could plan for something under 1000$ with the help of friends and family. That we could afford and perhaps keep the original date. Idk, has anyone had a fiancé with budget expectations that don’t meet reality? Or thinks that hodge podge is necessarily a bad thing.? Thanks!
Post # 2
I would draw up an actual budget and show him what you can get for your personal budget. You’ll have to actually do research your area and come up with true figures and not estimations. Maybe you can convince him by showing him what you could do with the extra money. A nice honeymoon perhaps?
Post # 3
I think you need to do some research and find out what things cost in your area and for he type of wedding you want. I also thought anything more than $5000 was ridiculous to spend on a wedding until I started actually adding everything up and realized it’s really impossible to have a traditional wedding for 100 people for any less than $15,000 in my area. There are things you can do to decrease the cost but you have to be willing to give up elements of the traditional wedding. For example, very small guest list, cake and punch instead of a full meal, limited decor, no music, etc.
That doesn’t mean you can’t get married, you just have to adjust your expectations.
Edit: I read your other posts. TBH it doesn’t seem like you’re in a position to have a wedding right now. If getting married is important to you, you can have a very nice elopement/honeymoon for less than a grand. Please don’t go into debt for a party. Go over your complete finances with your Fiance and ask him where he thinks the extra money will be coming from. You will need to be comfortable discussing finances and making financial decisions when you’re married.
Post # 4
- Wedding: Hawksnest Cove Beach St John USVI
DH had misconceptions about how much a wedding costs as well until we started doing research. As the wedding got closer he actually didn’t want to spend any more money (had to convince him to get a new belt because his was tattered lol). We had a beautiful wedding on a budget and we put each expense down broken down from the total budget and ranked each items importance. For us, large amounts of flowers weren’t important so we took money from that area and allocated it to wedding photos.
We paid for everything ourselves and figured out how much we could save each month into a wedding account. Then we multiplied it x the amount of months until the wedding to create our wedding budget. From there, we looked at venues that matched the venue percentage we were willing to spend. Thankfully, we were able to plan the wedding we wanted and didn’t go into debt.
Post # 5
You have no clue how much things are going to cost until you start researching options and drawing up a budget… maybe you can have the wedding you want for under $1,000, but chances are you might be naive as to how much things actaully cost.
Sit down with your Fiance and write everything down and the cost of each.
Post # 6
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
Instead of trying to convince him that it wont cost that much, can you show him? put together a wedding binder with all of your ideas and what you have in mind, and show him the whole picture first – then show him the budget you think you can do it in.
Typically, people have the opposite problem, they want to have a $50k wedding on a $5k budget. But if you can show him your idea for a $1k wedding, then maybe if he wants to add some additional embelishments you can agree on increasing some areas of the budget without going all the way to $5k which you’re not comfortable with.
Post # 7
- Wedding: July 2017 - Vineyard on Long Island
I mean, I took Fiance to visit the first venue with me. He was dead set on not spending more thatn 10k total. The first venue he picked out to go visit had a 3k site fee and was $100+ per person with a 100 person minimum. He agreed that that was still the type of venue and size he had envisioned, and after that first visit we were able to sit down and make a more realistic budget.
A good first step might be to start asking around people you would consider for catering or venue space or decorations to see what they charge to get an idea of what your vision would cost. From there, you could probably draft up a more accurate budget together.
Post # 8
To reconcile this I think you guys need to make a line-by-line budget with estimated costs for different items.
Your idea of a $1000 wedding is very ambitious (depending on what you want, of course). Heck, even $5k is a challenge if you’re going for a traditional wedding. Fact of the matter is that palnning a party for any decently sized group of people is expensive. Food and drinks just cost money. Add in some of the special extras most people want for a wedding (someone to do the ceremony, a little more decor, some new clothes, and a pro photographer) and it all adds up quickly.
But you haven’t specified what you’re looking for, and I think that waiting nearly 2 years to get married would be torture for some folks (it sure would have been for me!). Maybe you guys have different visions of who you’ll invite and what you’ll provide. Sitting down to make a theoretical budget could illuminate the divergence in expectations.
Post # 9
Agree with PPs — you need to set a realistic budget that he can understand, and you’ll have to give him some actual numbers to look at. DH was the same way — my low-end budget freaked him out, and we ended up doubling that number as things went along, anyway.
Post # 10
It is a lot of money, but weddings are expensive. Fiance and I went into this thinking we could do it for under $15,000 Not the case, we have more than doubled that. Everytime we book something we let out a collective sigh and say- never again.
If you can do it for $1000 I would love to see how you do it.