Post # 1
I feel completely lost, I have two very close friends and a cousin that I am close too. I know that I would want my cousin to be a maid of honor because she is family, but at the same time, I feel torn because I am so close to my other two friends.
Is there anyone out there with any ideas on how to have more than one maid of honor? Or perhaps any other idea on how to make this work? I want them all to feel special… 🙁 I will have 6 bridesmaids in total, but those three are maid of honors in my heart… and I dont really want to say “hey, I have three maids of honor”
Any advice would be appreicated . Thank you
Post # 3
What if you don’t call any of them MOH? It takes away the honorific title. but it makes them all equally important. I think 3 Maid/Matron of Honor and 3 BMs would be a little weird.
Post # 4
@abbie017: Good call…. great idea… but who stands closest to me? Who signs the witness papers? Im so lost
Post # 5
I’ve got two BMs and neither of them are my Maid/Matron of Honor – I just wasn’t keen on having a hierarchy of importance between them! Perhaps you could have someone else sign the witness papers? Your mum or a grandparent, perhaps?
Post # 6
@RumTalia: Could you maybe have one stand next to you, one sign the certificate and one give a speech? That way they each get to do one of the typical Maid/Matron of Honor duties?
Post # 7
I have 2 MOH’s… My twin sister and my best friend.. They are both giving speeches and My twin will sign certificate. I basically have them wearing same dress in purple and other bridesmaids in black. so they feel a little more important..
Post # 8
I’m a co-MOH for a wedding next year. There’s only 3 BMs total. The “regular” Bridesmaid or Best Man is totally not offended or anything, believe me she would say something if she was. The other co-MOH will be standing closest to the bride because she’s been friend’s with her longer. We will both give speeches.
Post # 9
Honestly i would just pick one. I always find it weird when there are 2 Maid/Matron of Honor of best men. whats the point? I doubt the ones that dont get picked will care. They dont have to do a speech then. thats a bonus in my opinion. I was at a wedding where they had 2 best men. Basically the only benefit for the one was that he had to do a speech. Ok. Not needed.
So in my opinion, i would just pick one and explain to the others you hope they arent offended because they are just as important. Its just a title.
Post # 10
I think I’m just going to call everyone an “attendant”. I guess if I had to name them, I have two maids of honor, a bridesman/man of honor, and a regular bridesmaid. My fiance has two official best men. I don’t really think the hierarchy is necessary, and I’m not really too worried about being traditional.
Post # 11
Who is going to help you try on dresses, plan your wedding, help you get into it on game day? Who is going to plan your bachlorette party? That’s who you should pick for Maid/Matron of Honor. I consider it an honor just to be asked to be in a person’s bridal party so pick one, and the others can be BMs. I’ve been to weddings where there were 2 and honestly I think it’s kind of silly, the titles don’t matter, it’s all one big bridal party anyway.
Post # 12
@RumTalia: split the “typical Maid/Matron of Honor duties” between the 3 of them. Is the best man single, is one of them single but not the other 2? Thats the girl who will walk down the isle with him.
Post # 13
@DEBeachGirl: WOW what a great idea!!!! Thank you I think I just may use this
Post # 14
I was once in a wedding with no Maid/Matron of Honor. What ended up happening was that I planned and through the shower and bachelorette. I loved doing it, but it was time consuming and a big expense. The other girls did nothing. They didn’t even come. Then on the day of, I was not picked to stand next to her or sign the liscense. Definitely hurt my feelings. I was happy to support her on her big day though, just a little bummed that my hard work went unrecognized.
Post # 15
I think its going to be just fine as other posters above said split the duties and make sure that everyone feels just as important as the other.
Post # 16
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
I had two matrons of honor. One lives an hour from me, and the other three, so the closer Maid/Matron of Honor went dress shopping, did more planning for my shower, stood next to me and signed as the church witness. Both did the toast, which was great- I’ve known them both for 20+ years, so they went back and forth during it.
With three, though, I would either go ahead and pick one (doesn’t have to be family), or give them alternate responsibilities, like PP suggested.