(Closed) Mortgage before or after marriage?

posted 4 years ago in 20 Something
  • poll: Should a mortgage come before or after marriage?

    Buying a house before getting married is ALWAYS a bad idea, period.

    Buying a house before marriage is fine (if you're both comfortable with it)

  • Post # 47
    Member
    348 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2017 - Combermere Abbey

    Personally I would not want to commit to a house with someone before I was at least engaged. So in your case I would definitely wait. 

    I have known people who did it both ways, some turned out well and others did not in both circumstances. 

    A work colleague got a house with her Fiance at the time. They broke up during their engagement. Now even two years down the line they are STILL arguing about how to split the money and who owes who. No thank you. 

    On the other had a couple of my friends who are in a relationship have just bought a flat together. They seem very tight and will most likely get married soon but they are not even engaged so who knows. 

    I think you are sensible. Your boyfriend should not push you into a huge financial committment if you are not comfortable with it. If he is as invested in you as he says he is then he can bloody well put a ring on your finger first. 

    For me it doesn’t matter how young or old you are. If you have expectations of marriage with the person you are thinking to get a house with – MARRIAGE first, THEN house. 

    Post # 48
    Member
    1973 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    Marriage first. If he won’t get engage and planning a wedding with you I wouldn’t commit to a house with him

    Post # 50
    Member
    484 posts
    Helper bee

    View original reply
    kinlee :  I think buying a house before marriage is fine, however I agree that what your bf is saying doesn’t make sense. He wants to be established in his career and be financially stable before marriage, but not before buying a house? When really the opposite is true. Getting married can cost as little as a few hundred at the court house. Afterwards your lives can continue on as before. Whereas a mortgage is a 30 year commitment that you need to be reasonably financial stable for. 

    Post # 51
    Member
    1889 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

    We bought a house before marriage and it will be ready for us to move into after we get back from our honeymoon.

     

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