Post # 1
my Fiance and i went to an amazing wedding in late december. His mom picked up the wedding gift for us because she had taken a holiday job at the store where they registered. We didn’t take the gift with us to the wedding because it was destination.
fast forward to APRIL. We found the gift last night. Each of us assumed the other had shipped it. (i would like to point out that these were his friends, he was a groomsmen. I was obligatory "invite guests’ fiancees girl".)
so i want to ship it asap Monday. But I feel awful about this. The wedding was grand and wonderful. I sent thank you notes to her parents a long time ago, but not THE GIFT!
he’s talked to the groom several times since then — that groom is also going to be one of our groomsmen — and it hasn’t come up.
What in the world should I send with this on Monday? They live far from us.. should I send a nice card and maybe a restaurant gift card or something??? I feel like such an a*hole!
Post # 3
I think, etiquette wise, you are supposed to have a year to send a gift.
Post # 4
I wouldn’t worry about it at all! I’d send it with a card that said sorry for being so lame, but we each thought the other had sent it. For reference, we got married in December and got something last month. It’s still fun to get a gift so better late than never!
Post # 5
If it were me, I would just send a note along with the gift telling them exactly what you’ve told us here. Yeah, I’d feel pretty embarrased too, but as it sounds to me like you’re being pretty honest. (Really, who could make anything like that up?)
If they’re your friends, they’re understand and let it go. They’ve probably make a mistake or two too.
Post # 6
Knudsonwedding is right, I believe most wedding sites & mags say you have up to a year after a wedding to send a gift.
I also agree that you can just include a note shortly explaining the confusion, no elaborate explanation needed. Maybe reiterate what a great time you had, and what a wonderful job they did.
And I definitely don’t think you need to add a gift certificate or anything. I think the gift and the sincere sentiment would be enough.
Post # 7
ok that’s good to know. I really appreciate your newlywed insight tipperella!
I think this might call for a letterpressed card and lots of gushing. It really was a fabulous wedding 🙂
Post # 8
Sending it with a card would be fine. Chances are, since you bought it off of their registry, they are aware that the item was purchased for them. I bet they’ll be really excited to get a gift a few months after their wedding.
Post # 9
I have had the same issue – didn’t take gift since it was destination and didn’t mail for about 6 months (mostly because I couldn’t drag an address our of FI). Kicker of the story is that about a week after we finally mailed off the gift – we found out they were getting separated (now divorced). Sooo – not that I wanted to keep it – but I’m sure it was awkward for them to receive a present around that time.
Post # 10
oh my gosh, that’s horrible! good thing you didn’t deliver it in person!
Post # 11
oh i think it will be great for them to get such a lovely surprise in the mail after all of this time. they sound like gracious friends who did the right thing (not mention the gift). sent it right away with a quick note and hopefully you all will laugh about it later over drinks. 🙂
Post # 12
I say send with a card. I am sure evrything will be fine.
Post # 13
I agree with the others that it’s fine to still send it now, with a note apologizing for the delay (and your explanation is perfectly acceptable). Only a greedy, uncaring "friend" would be upset about it.
However I do want to point out that, according to Emily Post you DO NOT have a year after the wedding to send a gift — and waiting that long is actually considered very tacky. (I read one thing that suggested it was a relatively "recent" "tradition" started so that the gift-giver could be sure the bride and groom actually made it through the first year of marriage!
Quoted from Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette:
"Gifts should be delivered as close to the wedding date as possible, but circumstances such as an invitee’s illness may cause a delay, and couples shouldn’t question a late arrival. Some guests think they have up to a year after the wedding to send gifts; not the case (although "it’s never too late," one year is neither correct nor the norm)."
Post # 14
yeah, i definitely feel tacky! that’s why i am so thrilled to get advice here from the newly wedded and those with more experience on this.
thank you all so much for the advice!