- 10 years ago
- Wedding: April 2012
I am super sad and frustrated so I need to vent, SOrry for a long post. My dresses are ordered, but most days I just feel like I want to call off this whole wedding ordeal. I am so tired and sometime I feel like I don’t know if I will be able to deal with my OCD Fiance for the rest of my life and will be happy. Here are why:
Fiance and are two opposite individuals, and people say opposite attracts. Maybe from the beginning, but not so much at this point.
We’ve been living together after the engagement and we have been engaged for 8 months now.
We are living in an apartment now and are in the process to build a house. he pays for apartment rent and focus on the house. I pay for foods, and cable and cell phone bill, and save up the rest to pay for the wedding.
He is super clean, I mean OCD clean. I have to admit I am not as neat as he is, but I always clean up after myself. I feel like whatever I do, I will never be good enough in his own eyes. He always finds reason or something to pick on me about.
He is protective of all his material things and belongings. He said to my sisters that kids are not welcome once our house is done knwoing that I have a dozen of niece and newphews that I love very much. My family is very close and we always have kids BD party. I seriously hoped my sister did not hear that.
He does laundry and I do the dishes and cook. I love to cook and I am a great cook so I don’t mind. I even cook things that I don’t eat but he loves to eat. We take turn to clean the bathroom
I am active and a gym addict. I work out like five days a week. I gave up all my friends, I don’t even go out. I feel guilty even hanging out with my girl friends because he refuse to go anwyhere.
He wants me to train him at the gym, but he gets upset when I ask him to do certain exercise he doesnt like to do. when I correct his form, he get upset because He says I embarass him. I am super fit, he is okay, gotten better after we moved in because I cook healthy food and motivated him to work out more.
I can’t plan a double dinner date with my friend, because chance is if he finds a reason to be upset at me that day when we have dinner planw ith our friends, he would refuse to go and cancel on me. I sam so sad.
I feel like he is always so confrontational about almost everything. I have had relationships before, none worked out, but most of them were because of the different religous backgrounds/issues. With my Fiance, we both come from the same relgious background.
He has been married before, so its his second and my first. He has no kids, he hates pet. He said to my sisters that kids are not welcome at our house, and I have like more than a dozen of nieces and nephews that I love very much. I seriously hoped my sisters didn’t hear that.
It is good to clean, but OCD clean is very annoying. For an instant, I wash meat in the sink and while the water was running, I used my wrist to shut down the faucet/water so I can put meat on the plate. He told me any part of my hand touched the faucet, it would give him salmonella. In the middle of doing the washing, he wants me to place the meat down, clean my hand with soap first and sanitizer so I can use my hand to shut down the water, then handle the meat again.
When I do dishes, he checked every single one in the dish washer to make sure they all met his expectation. When I clean the kitchen counters and mop the floor, he feels his bands on them to make sure they are perfect.
He is super picky about everything and always find fault in people, not just me but in everyone in general. I feel that he is always so confrontational.
I can’t talk to my family or any friends about this.
I have one rule and agreement I made with him that when we figjt, we are not to curse or call each other with ugly names. He did that to me on so many occasions and begged for forgivness, then it always went back to the same way it was. He knows I hate F bombs and I feel very insulted and hurt when he dropped F bomb on me and he does that every time he gets upset and always have an excuse for it. And guess what, his excuse was always sometihng about me and blamed me for everything, every time.
I wanted to leave so many times, and he begged me and begged me and I let go and we made peace.
I am sick that we always fight about everything and about stupid silly things. he always wants to get gas from costco b/c its cheaper. For me, I get it where I feel is convenience. One time, we stopepd to get gas for his car, and it was two blocks from costco, knowing that he always prefer costco gas, I asked him why wouldn’t we go to costco, and it was 9pm. He said costco closes at 8. I said to him, the costco store may close at 8, but does not mean the costco gas station closes at the same time, because I got gas in the morning at 8:30 A.M, the costco store closes and does not open until 10am, but the costco gas station was opened for business so it could be the same case. He kept saying how stupid I was to compare orange to apple, like morning time and evening time and that costco gas station dont open 24 hours. All I tried to explain to him was, the costco store could have different operating hours than the the costco gas station itself. Just for that, and he was upset for the entire night and day.
He is super careful about his car. He has a nice expensive car while I only have a regular Toyota SUV. My car is new too, but its just luxury car because I really don;t care about car. So he always worries about taking his car and parking in public and getting ding by people who park next to him and does a poor parking job or backing out job. He also worries about putitng miles onto his car so we always take my car everywhere we go together and It doesn;t bother me one bit.
Not to mention, we got in so many heated arguements because he got upset at me for not doing a perfectly straight parking job. He said I don’t park perfectly, people next to me would scratch my car. Everyday he comes home and If I didn;t park my car 100% straight, he would get very upset which sometime I find so ridicilous. I am a girl okay, I may not do a totally straight parking job, but I didnt even see why we have the need to fight about it.
I can’t begin to tell you everything, but most days I feel like I want to call off the whole wedding ordeal. I have no problem finding an attractive sucessful man and I am sure he has issues finding a decent girl.
Any of you feel this way at all?