(Closed) Most Difficult Decision You’ve Had to Make as A Couple?

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
7081 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

What a good topic.  For us, decisions about my career have been the most vexing.  Poor fiance has put his desires on the back burner for SO long.  I keep saying the next move is his, but then crappy economy and other obstacles are put in our way.

Someday, we’ll get to move to the country and build a home, and I know it’s absolutely distressing to him that it can’t be right now… but we seriously are looking at what is best for us as a couple and a family and then putting faith in our abilities to make it happen.

Post # 4
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Ours was also a move. We decided to try a move to a city that was new to both of us.

I’m sure harder decisions will come our way, but that was pretty tough. We both had to start over. 

Post # 5
Member
484 posts
Helper bee

Our’s was about how to be in a relationship. It would require one of us to leave our family and friends for the other side of the world and thousands of dollars in visa applications just to see if we would work. Our entire relationship had been long distance to this point. We eventually decided I would move to him because it was slightly easier for me to get a visa for his country. But it has been a lot of sacrifice on my part and I know when we move to the States is will be a lot of sacrifice on his part. With all the back and forth and many discussions we had, we realized we only ever wanted to go through these difficult decisions and moments with each other. We just had to make it work. It also helps that both of our families are incredible supportive and do everything they can to help make our decisions easier.

Post # 6
Member
1379 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

For us it was choosing our wedding date.  We knew that the long engagement would be difficult and would change the rest of our plans (buying a house, starting a family) … but in the end it was best for my career to take a long distance assignment, therefore putting off the wedding. Overall, I think it was the best decision — although I am ready for the wedding!!

Post # 7
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I would say our most difficult decision was when we decided to put our sick (cancer) cat/love of our lives down. That was a hard one- but it was a necessary one, and I’m happy we went through it together because we were both very supportive of one another before, during, and after.  

Post # 8
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Well, he essentially decided what career path to follow based on what would give him the most flexibility, so that he’d be able to move around the country with me when the time came. I’d say that was a pretty big decision. (Ironically it now seems very unlikely that I’ll be getting the job I’ve spent so much time preparing for, but I know I’m not the only one in that situation in this economy.)

Post # 9
Member
5398 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

For sure my career…and it’s still a work on progress.

Post # 10
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

What country to live in.  Still a ‘conversation’ in process.  It’s like the conversation that never ends.

Post # 11
Member
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

We have talked about whether to have kids… we’re both in a place where we’re not sure whether we want to have them or not… I guess we both assume that at some point about five years down the road, we’ll be like, "let’s have a baby!"  For me, I feel kind of uneasy about getting married not knowing that we’ll both be on the same page when the time comes.  But we’re both on the same page now, and neither one of us knows for sure how we’ll feel in five years.  So it’s kind of an ongoing conversation, but it’s so huge that it really does weigh on my mind from time to time.

Post # 12
Hostess
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Ours was deciding to move.  He recently got a job offer with the government in Alabama (which is a big change for a Yank like me).  Everyone is going to stare at me and laugh for not having a accent.

Post # 13
Member
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Ours now is regarding where to send my son to school.  We have a few changing life events right now regarding my son.  He’s 100 percent supportive, loves him, and we are trying to move him to a new school within a year..closer to where we’ll be living, and help transition him there.  It’s an awesome school..more sports, and one where he’ll have chapel 1xweek and other great extracirricular activities too.

I’m also considering a move from where I am now (work wise)  back to private practice so I can do my thing and not deal with holidays, on call, and be much closer to my son’s school, and of course to where T and I will be living..(and of course my son too!)

Post # 14
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2009

We had to decide whether we should legally marry before our wedding. We moved last summer to take advantage of a job opportunity for him and it meant leaving a very secure job for me. We opted to go to the courthouse to allow me to take advantage of his health insurance. It was a decision that really upset my family. However, it was the right decision for us and now everyone is looking forward to our formal July wedding.

Post # 15
Member
2143 posts
Buzzing bee

Moving in together was a huuuge decision we had to make. We’ve had a long distance relationship (luckily in the same country, but different states) and it just kept getting harder. We talked a little about it, but finally my fiance brought it up and he was serious about it. We still talked about it for the next couple of months, weighing the pros and cons and risks (I was giving up a full tuition scholarship!) but eventually we decided I’d move in with him. I miss my family sometimes and kind of wish we could live back home together around them, but I know it’s very hard for him to leave his family as well (neither parent speaks fluent English and his father has a disability), so for now, this is our best option and I don’t regret it. We brought it up again about maybe moving back together since I"ll be losing my job soon, but I don’t think the time is quite right yet.

Post # 16
Member
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Ours was also a move. Actually what happened is he got offered his dream job, oh and by the way, needed to decide within a week which city cross country he wanted to move. Because he is made for this job, I told him I’d go with him whereever (plus I recently got laid off and finding a job somewhere else is about as easy as finding a job where we are now). We made tons of pros and cons list and are now moving from the East Coast to the West Coast. Yikes!

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