(Closed) Most Embarassing Sex Story

posted 9 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 17
Bee
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Father\'s Vineyard Church/ A Touch of Class Banquet Center

I threw out my neck while giving a blowjob. I couldn’t turn it for weeks. I was mortified when I went to the doctor, I told him I was picking up a pencil and it just stiffened. I don’t think he believed me. He wanted me to wear a neck brace, but I refused. Naturally Fiance told everyone. Jerk.

Post # 18
Member
2792 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

While doing it doggy style on the floor in DH’s parents house a while back, the dog came up to us and licked my butt cheek. Embarassed

Guess he liked the position!

Post # 19
Member
510 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

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@stardustintheeyes:  Yeah, it’s called a penile fracture.  There’s a relatively thick fibrous lining around the erectile bodies, and when they’re filled with blood it can snap.  It looks REALLY painful.  If it ever happens to you guys, make sure your guy goes to the ER b/c he probably needs surgery to avoid having a bent penis forever.

 

Post # 20
Member
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

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@zippylef: baby carrot??? oh no, poor guy!!

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@MrsMaine: you get the dog approval…at least you were doing it right!!

Post # 21
Member
510 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Anyway, my embarrassing story goes all the way back to high school. My ex-boyfriend and I used to get home from class and fool around before she got home.  We would close the garage door so we could hear it open and know she was coming.  One day we put on the music a little too loud, and I started to go down on him (thank god we didn’t have sex that day).  About five minutes later I feel him yank me up on his chest, and then I felt HIS MOM JUMP ON US.  She was laughing about it but I was MORTIFIED.  We were together for 5 years and I couldn’t look her in the face for so long. 

Post # 22
Member
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

One night, after a few too many drinks, I threw up all over my now-husband’s crotch while giving him a blowjob :

Post # 23
Member
1058 posts
Bumble bee

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@Leprechaun: I wish there was a like button, that’s soo funny!

Post # 24
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I’ve farted during sex too which was embarrassing! We haven’t had anything super embarassing…yet.

Post # 25
Member
510 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

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@Leprechaun: omg YES

Post # 26
Member
2187 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

DH thinks queefs are hilarious. I…do not. Luckily, it doesn’t happen often.

Post # 27
Member
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

With my first ever boyfriend,comes my most embarassing sex story ever….

we were in his room(he lived with his parents) having sex on his bedroom floor because his bed was super squeaky and we didnt really want that to give us away…anyway we were both really gettin into it,when all of a sudden,his dad appears at the window and starts to clean the window!! I freak out and start screaming because it made me jump,his dad suddenly popping up out of nowhere! This gets his dads attention and he looks through the window to see whos screaming….works out what we are doing,nearly falls off his ladder and climbs down the ladder really fast,shouting “sorry,sorry carry on!!!”

Needless to say,we didnt carry on.lol

Post # 28
Member
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

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@Heatherloveskenny:this is also true for my Fiance,thinks they are hysterical,whereas I just want to die out of embarassment and laughter

Post # 29
Member
2521 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Fi and I were having some fun–I don’t think we were in the middle of it.  But I heard a really funny sound and burst out laughing (I sometimes have a problem of laughing randomly at things other people don’t find funny).  Anyways, b/c I was laughing and it was that awkward, I just couldn’t stop laughing.  So he stopped and was not in the mood anymore b/c he thought I was laughing at him, but really it was the situation that was hilarious.

Post # 30
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

My freshman year in college, I had a 16 year old roommate in the dorms. (I know, right?) She was going to Florida for a wedding from Thursday until Monday, so I had a friend over. We were laying in my twin extra-long bed just chatting (naked) early Sunday morning when the door swung open. She walks in, stares for a minute, then runs down the hall screaming (of course leaving the door open). Friend and I couldn’t stop laughing as we got dressed and headed out for breakfast. 

When I came back, she had set the snowglobe she got me on my desk with a note saying that I probably wouldn’t have as much fun with it as much as I was having that morning!

Post # 31
Member
3135 posts
Sugar bee

Too Much Information Alert: I kind of … projectile came in his.. mouth/face.  I never had before so needless to say it was a big of a shocker.

Now I warn him.

 

Another time I was trying to be Miss Porno Star and I asked him to cum in my face and he projectile came in my eye. Really friggen hard. I tried to act like it was no big deal but my eye swelled closed and was tearing and stayed that way for 24 hours.

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