Most helpful thing DH did during labor?

posted 2 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 16
Member
919 posts
Busy bee

The best thing my ex did was listen to what I told him to do. My labors were fast (both under 3 hours), so there was no time for him to do much of anything. 

Post # 17
Member
1794 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

As an aside, there was a guy in my birthing class whose partner was not able to attend the class.  He came by himself and facetimed her during the class so she could be part of it.  So I guess that is a thing you can do if you really wanted.  

The best thing that came out of classes for me was my husband knowing what to expect and what questions to ask doctors etc.

As far as during labor, the best things my husband did were applying constant pressure for hours on my lower back, and advocating for me with the medical staff when I was unable.  He also cared for our newborn daughter on his own after her delivery when I was taken away to remove my retained placenta.  He also got me a turkey sandwich.

Post # 18
Member
840 posts
Busy bee

He left! I broke his pinky and he went to the ER for about 4 hrs to get it fixed up. My 2 additional deliveries I used a stress ball to squeeze. lol

Post # 19
Member
3037 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Most helpful: He played relaxing music for me and held my hand. 

Least helpful: He ate in front of me while I was stuck sucking on ice chips and was so hungry!! 

Post # 20
Member
1223 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2017 - Hagakyrkan

catmom17 :  I told him beforehand that I wanted him to be serious and don’t joke around, and he did that perfectly!! 🙂 I had trouble speaking to the midwifes when I was having contractions so he did most of the talking. He kept physical contact with me at (almost) all time, which I asked him to. Basically he followed all my instructions 🙂 

Post # 21
Member
2733 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Most helpful: anchoring me while I laboured standing up

least helpful: not having done his handover email for work so we were at home longer than we should have been while he panic sent it.

Post # 22
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Not much, haha! With my first I had a glorious epidural so it was a pretty chill experience all around, he stood behind my shoulder where he felt comfortable. With my second I didn’t have the epidural and had a crazy fast birth (50 min from first contraction to baby born) and I didn’t want to hear him say anything or touch me at all. At one point he rubbed my face and was like you’re doing great! I screamed at him “don’t touch me!!!” Like a psychopath. Poor guy was just trying to help!! LOL

Post # 23
Member
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I barely remember him being there, and my labour was 36 hours from start to finish lol.

I think he put on my favourite DVD before we went to the hospital for the first time (yep, got sent home!). And… I don’t know… he… I don’t know, lol.

Post # 25
Member
7610 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

catmom17 :  he truly listened to me and didn’t try to insert his own feelings or opinions into the process. If I said “I need water” by gosh that man got me water. If I said “rub my back this way” he did it. When I said “ok now stop rubbing my back” 30 seconds later he stopped and didn’t say “geez woman make up your mind” because he knew my needs were constantly changing and he was adaptable to what I was asking for. He did make suggestions like “hey babe do you want to try the ball?” but if I said no he didn’t push. I labored entirely as home with just my husband for support and it was perfect for me. I went through transition in the car and he just kept his mouth shut and focused on driving while I kept muttering my mantra to myself like a possessed woman. Once we got the hospital (33 minutes before she came out…oops) he stayed by my head, rubbed my shoulder, and kept cheering me on (by repeating what the delivery nurse was saying) through 15 minutes of pushing. And then when they whisked my daughter away (she had been in distress) he still did what I told him which was “leave me and go check on her”. He knows that I know what I need and didn’t question it which I know sounds super bossy….but if there is ever a time you can be bossy it’s while you’re in labor! 

Post # 26
Member
2543 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Love seeing everyone else’s replies! Darling Husband was amazing during my 30 hours of labor. He was very present and I don’t know if I have ever felt so close and connected with him…we were truly partners. I don’t know what the most helpful was, but there are several things that were mentioned by PPs that I was thinking, yes!! to. Massage, walking the halls with me, suggesting when it was time to switch things up (get moving, rest, soak in tub), reminding me to drink water, helping me in the bathroom. After the baby was born, he dealt with the paperwork, getting the carseat inspected, did lots of the baby care, like first bath and learning to swaddle…ugh so much stuff is thrown at you haha!

The least helpful was him eating a fast food meal that a friend delivered…god I was so hungry. And at one point I got annoyed with him and told him to just stop talking, but that was during a moment of intense pain haha. But man…what an experience. Good luck to you!

Post # 27
Member
9608 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

My friend told me her spouse didn’t let her off by the entrance when she was in labor, so she had to walk through the entire parking lot while having contractions. When they were close enough a nurse ran over with a wheelchair.  So um.. make sure he drops you off closer to the entrance lol.

Post # 28
Member
3065 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

lalalalauren :  hahahah i literally laughed at this. I feel like I will be the same. I am 20 weeks and  I half jokingly tell him I won’t let him in the room but deep down I am kind of serious. I defo wont want anyone touching me or trying to be all in my face about things

Its not even that I think he will be annoying, I just am a suffer ALONE type. LOL

Post # 29
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Boxerlover24 :  haha yes same here!! Like there is absolutely nothing he could do to make my pain any less so just don’t piss me off. He is a great dad and husband but when I’m uncomfortable or in pain I do not like being touched. I hope your labor is easy and no touching involved! 😂

Post # 30
Member
2395 posts
Buzzing bee

Listened to and did whatever I asked him to do. When I needed to walk, he walked with me. When I needed him to keep pulling my gown back up (??) over and over again, he did it. When I needed him to hold me up while I got the epidural, he was right there. And then he held my legs while I pushed (for four hours straight). You’re not going to be able to predict what you’re going to need – the best thing he can do is to be flexible and do whatever you need, as soon as you ask him for it. No whining, no complaining, no making it about him. Just be there for you 100%, no matter what you ask of him in that moment. 

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