(Closed) Most impersonal thank you card EVER. It would have been better not to get one.

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
7693 posts
Bumble Beekeeper


πŸ™  Too bad writing a nice thank you card has appeared to have gone the way of the dinosaurs.  Maybe she didn’t know better?

Post # 4
627 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yeah, the lack of name is not okay. I get that maybe she doesn’t remember what you gave her (hell, we’ve all had those moments), but no name!? I mean, your name is on the damn envelope.

At least it wasn’t typed, printed out and stuck in the envelope.

Post # 6
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

That is pretty rude, but it wasn’t intentionally rude.  She did make an attempt to be personal (“you guys” is as generic as it gets, but at least it’s acknowledging that there are two of you in the gift-giving), it just fell very flat.  I know saying “It could’ve been worse” is frustrating because it’s a frustrating situation, but I think this is just a matter of her not knowing any better.  It’s possible she wrote your note before reading what she sent you if she made a batch and got to yours first.

If you haven’t written thank-you notes ever in your life, it’s a daunting task.  It’s so hard to think of what to say to people.  You can go with a general guideline from the internet, but even then it can leave you staring at a blank card for hours not knowing what to say.  Your example was probably wonderful, but I know that when I see a friend do something way better than I do I go, “Wow, she’s good!” and not, “Everyone should be able to do that.”  I know my first attempts were dreadful, but I’ve gotten a lot better with practice. 

Hopefully she’ll learn as she sends more out in her life; if she keeps going this way, you can always gift her something like Hallmark’s “On a Personal Note” (a guide to writing nice notes) with a pretty set of stationary for some event.  If she isn’t married yet it’d make a nice bridal shower gift, or if you’re close enough, it’d be a good gift for when the baby is born (the next 18 years of her life will involve many thank-you notes, invitations, and announcments).

Post # 7
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

oh my! yes that was pretty not cool.

Post # 9
5762 posts
Bee Keeper

Other the the name , I don’t see much else wrong with it. I personally hate when I get thank yous back that list every little thing I gave them…so how personal is that? Somebody tracked the gifts and they followed the list~ I’d rather they said something about being happy to see me there more than anything else (or in your case that you sent a gift and couldn’t attend).

Post # 10
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I”m okay with them not referencing the actual gift, but I agree not even writing your name is strange – especially if she went through the trouble to address the card to you.

I’ve seen worse though – typed, printed and stuffed. Not referencing a name or gift. And 1 full year after the shower πŸ™‚

Post # 11
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I know it’s frustrating, but I do think it’s much better that she did acknowledge you with a card rather than not sending one at all. The lesser of the two evils, I guess. πŸ™‚

Post # 12
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Hey, at least you got a thank you card! (Even though it was pretty crappy!) We have been to multiple weddings this year and have yet to receive a thank you despite breaking the bank to give a gift πŸ™

Post # 13
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Not writing your name is definitely odd but failing to leave off the specific gifts isn’t such a huge deal to me. I did mention specific gifts when writing out my shower TY’s but I didn’t for some of the gifts from our wedding. If the Thank You was for only one gift then I mentioned it specifically but if there were multiple, I did not. One couple that we invited gifted us with like 5 or 6 things from BB&B. If I would have written out each item, the whole thank you would have sounded ridiculous and I wouldn’t have had room to write anything else. I did mention the husbands bitchin’ dance moves and told them that we’d love to get together soon so hopefully that personalization makes up for not listing each individual gift.  

Post # 14
2714 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

It’s a little weird that she didn’t write your name in the card, but other than that I think it’s a nice note. I personally HATE writing thank you cards so I try to keep them short and sweet. I always use their names though. πŸ™

Even though it’s impersonal so many people don’t even send them anymore so I’d deff take that one over no card at all!!

Post # 16
5183 posts
Bee Keeper

It looks fine to me. At least she didn’t allude to you actually being at the event when you never went.

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