Post # 1
Wow. A friend of mine and FI’s is pregnant right now, and her baby shower was a few weeks ago. I was out of town that weekend and couldn’t go, but I did send a gift. I just got her thank you card:
Thank you so much for the baby gift. That was very sweet of you. 🙂 I hope you guys are doing well! Can’t wait to see you guys. 🙂
[Mom’s name], [dad’s name] and Baby [baby’s name]
Yeah, you read that right. She not only didn’t write what I gave her or anything personal, but she didn’t even write my NAME. I’m pretty shocked. I would rather have not received a card at all. I’m so unimpressed.
This is even worse because when she couldn’t make it to my bridal shower a few weeks ago and sent a gift instead, I spent time writing her a very personal, thoughtful, genuine card. Unless the USPS lost it, I KNOW she got it at least a week ago and should have had time to read it before she sent me this thing.
Post # 3
🙁 Too bad writing a nice thank you card has appeared to have gone the way of the dinosaurs. Maybe she didn’t know better?
Post # 4
Yeah, the lack of name is not okay. I get that maybe she doesn’t remember what you gave her (hell, we’ve all had those moments), but no name!? I mean, your name is on the damn envelope.
At least it wasn’t typed, printed out and stuck in the envelope.
Post # 5
@Rubies: Yeah, okay, I suppose that would be worse.
Honestly, I wouldn’t mind a typed note if it were personalized. I really just want to see my own name on the stupid thing.
Post # 6
That is pretty rude, but it wasn’t intentionally rude. She did make an attempt to be personal (“you guys” is as generic as it gets, but at least it’s acknowledging that there are two of you in the gift-giving), it just fell very flat. I know saying “It could’ve been worse” is frustrating because it’s a frustrating situation, but I think this is just a matter of her not knowing any better. It’s possible she wrote your note before reading what she sent you if she made a batch and got to yours first.
If you haven’t written thank-you notes ever in your life, it’s a daunting task. It’s so hard to think of what to say to people. You can go with a general guideline from the internet, but even then it can leave you staring at a blank card for hours not knowing what to say. Your example was probably wonderful, but I know that when I see a friend do something way better than I do I go, “Wow, she’s good!” and not, “Everyone should be able to do that.” I know my first attempts were dreadful, but I’ve gotten a lot better with practice.
Hopefully she’ll learn as she sends more out in her life; if she keeps going this way, you can always gift her something like Hallmark’s “On a Personal Note” (a guide to writing nice notes) with a pretty set of stationary for some event. If she isn’t married yet it’d make a nice bridal shower gift, or if you’re close enough, it’d be a good gift for when the baby is born (the next 18 years of her life will involve many thank-you notes, invitations, and announcments).
Post # 7
oh my! yes that was pretty not cool.
Post # 8
I just don’t know. I’ve always been AWFUL about writing thank you notes (I probably owe all my aunts and uncles twenty years’ worth of notes for Christmas and birthday gifts), but I’m trying to be good about this wedding stuff, and at least I know that you always use the person’s NAME. Argh.
Post # 9
Other the the name , I don’t see much else wrong with it. I personally hate when I get thank yous back that list every little thing I gave them…so how personal is that? Somebody tracked the gifts and they followed the list~ I’d rather they said something about being happy to see me there more than anything else (or in your case that you sent a gift and couldn’t attend).
Post # 10
I”m okay with them not referencing the actual gift, but I agree not even writing your name is strange – especially if she went through the trouble to address the card to you.
I’ve seen worse though – typed, printed and stuffed. Not referencing a name or gift. And 1 full year after the shower 🙂
Post # 11
I know it’s frustrating, but I do think it’s much better that she did acknowledge you with a card rather than not sending one at all. The lesser of the two evils, I guess. 🙂
Post # 12
Hey, at least you got a thank you card! (Even though it was pretty crappy!) We have been to multiple weddings this year and have yet to receive a thank you despite breaking the bank to give a gift 🙁
Post # 13
Not writing your name is definitely odd but failing to leave off the specific gifts isn’t such a huge deal to me. I did mention specific gifts when writing out my shower TY’s but I didn’t for some of the gifts from our wedding. If the Thank You was for only one gift then I mentioned it specifically but if there were multiple, I did not. One couple that we invited gifted us with like 5 or 6 things from BB&B. If I would have written out each item, the whole thank you would have sounded ridiculous and I wouldn’t have had room to write anything else. I did mention the husbands bitchin’ dance moves and told them that we’d love to get together soon so hopefully that personalization makes up for not listing each individual gift.
Post # 14
It’s a little weird that she didn’t write your name in the card, but other than that I think it’s a nice note. I personally HATE writing thank you cards so I try to keep them short and sweet. I always use their names though. 🙁
Even though it’s impersonal so many people don’t even send them anymore so I’d deff take that one over no card at all!!
Post # 15
@Legallyblondiebride: I’ve only once received a thank you card for something I gave at a wedding. I flew in from Japan for one girl’s wedding and gave her a really nice gift, but she never sent a thank you. 🙁 I still think that was better, though.
I don’t mind that my friend here didn’t mention the exact gift I gave her. I just thought it was weird that she didn’t mention anything personal at all – not that she was looking forward to seeing me soon and introducing me to the baby, or that she was hoping to make it to the wedding, or ANYTHING. I just thought it was weird that she could have written the exact same note she gave me to just about anyone. I imagine her just writing the same message over and over again.
Post # 16
It looks fine to me. At least she didn’t allude to you actually being at the event when you never went.