Post # 47
On the subject of hoochies (and because where else would I ever post this) I went to a large party where there was a hypnotist for entertainment. When he asked for volunteers a whole group of girlfriends volunteered (and for some reason sailors always have the hoochiest gfs). He had them all "go to sleep" on the shoulder next to them, but one girl fell out of her chair and mooned the audience.
Ask me how I know she was wearing a pink thong.
Post # 48
hahaha…I can only guess that it’s because her skirt barely covered her hoochie rear in the first place…
Post # 49
My officiant (who is a good friend of mine and not religious, FYI) hooked up a guest at our wedding who had recently decided to get a divorce (unbeknownst to me). It was kind of scandalous at the time, but they are still together and very serious, so I’m actually glad it happened now. The worst behavior was from my cousin’s wife (who I sort of know, but not well) who completely freaked out on me the day of the wedding. Initially, she was upset by the fact that we didn’t have a groom’s side/bride’s side for our casual outdoor wedding (um…who cares?) Then, her head almost exploded when she found out our wedding was not going to be religious and I wasn’t changing my name . I stumbled upon her berating me in front of my sister and dad mere hours before the ceremony. Fortunately all my sane friends were there to feed me wine and talk me out of killing her. My creepy cousin also showed up to the wedding late and insanely drunk and hit on some of the guests, but I was expecting that.