Most stressful part of wedding planning? Regrets?

posted 2 months ago in Recaps
Post # 2
Member
1514 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

I don’t regret anything, but I do think the money aspect is the most stressful part for me.  I had a distinct moment of indignant bitterness when I realized just how much a surcharge gets to be the moment you breathe the word “wedding” to a vendor.

Post # 3
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee

I’m not married yet, but coming in on the home stretch.  To me, the most stressful parts have been the very beginning and the very end, for the following reasons:

THE BEGINNING

We got engaged in December 2018 and I’ve always wanted to get married in October, so we had to *gogogo* to get venues and vendors booked for an October 2019 wedding.  I mean, it was like, pedal to the metal.  I had a planner lined up already and even with that extra help, it was exhausting meeting with photographers, doing site visits, and really just thinking about nailing down all that big stuff so quickly.

THE HOME STRETCH

Now that we are about a month and change out, OMG KILL ME NOW.  Seriously, I just want to be married already.  The small details are suddenly becoming “Oh shit I forgot to do this” moments, so it’s been a rush of making signs for the card/gift/favor tables/bar, ordering bridesmaids’ robes for them to wear while getting ready, getting the marriage license, tracking down RSVPs (I GAVE YOU A PREPAID STAMPED ENVELOPE, WHY) and watching our guest list fill up wayyyyy past our anticipated numbers, LOL.  I always read the “yes” response for weddings was typically 70%, but ours is looking to be closer to 85-90%, so we’re going to have to add more tables, linens, chairs, etc. 

I know it will all be worth it in the end so I’m gritting my teeth and hanging in there!  Good luck to you!

Post # 4
Member
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

Just as an alternate view, I got married August 17th just gone – it was 2 years in the planning. The ceremony was at 1:30. 

At 12:25 (I know because my friend made a note) I declared I had started to feel mildly anxious. 

Truthfully until that point I was completely calm. I enjoyed it, loved planning and picking things and it was great fun. I never stressed at all. I think there is a sort of assumption that it has to stressful and sometimes that makes it so, but my advice is to enjoy it and ignore all the nonsense! 

I had the best day. Relaxed and fun and nothing went wrong. 

Good luck! I know stresses can creep in and I was lucky but the point still stands. Enjoy every moment xx

Post # 5
Member
1257 posts
Bumble bee

jillsgills :  I was fine until we got in the car to drive to the venue, then I couldn’t stop shaking!

Organising is my thing though, and we had a 23 month engagement. If I’d known we’d buy a house within a year of getting married, we’d have spent less on the wedding, but if I were doing it over with what I knew at the time, I wouldn’t change a thing.

Post # 6
Member
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

krm1984 :  Totally feeling you on the home stretch stress! My RSVP deadline is Sunday and I still haven’t heard from a third of my guests. I thought I’d have to track down only a few people! All the little last minute details – I just ordered a card box, table name cards, table name card holders, still have to finalize seating arrangements and order name cards, have to figure out bridesmaid gifts, all that stuff. Those annoying details that nobody will remember afterwards but that you have to have. Choosing the bigger stuff, like my vendors, was easy.

Post # 7
Member
2761 posts
Sugar bee

The Guest List was the most stressful part for me.  We really wanted to keep it under 50 ppl and that was really hard.  

The amount of people really set the tone for everything else because of budget.  

 

 

Post # 8
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee

Bee, I feel you. I’m planning my wedding in May 2020 and I don’t even have venue yet! 

We decided now that will make a wedding in Thailand which is where I’m from, but both of us live in Dubai. I don’t know where or how to start to be honest. I’m thinking of getting a wedding planner already, probably spend a bit more money but save the hustle and time. I don’t even know how I would go to see the venue 🤦🏻‍♀️ 

Post # 9
Member
9718 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I didn’t find wedding planning to be stressful at all. The only thing that matters is that at the end of the day you are married to the person you love. All the details are pretty unimportant. A wedding is just a fun party, don’t put more pressure on it than there needs to be.

Post # 10
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

I felt rushed to book a photographer and then ended up booking someone I really didnt like and ended up losing our $950 deposit. Don’t feel pressured to rush into decisions! Also, our wedding just passed and I really regret not getting a videographer, so if you have the money, do it! Order anything you think you’ll need online early, as we got closer to the date and I stilll needed table number stands, I realized shipping might take up to 4 weeks and wouldnt get here in time for the wedding, so that was stressful. And in the week leading up to the wedding, be okay with dropping things that are less important! I had all sorts of plans and as things got closer I just said forget it to a lot of things and the wedding was still wonderful 🙂

Post # 11
Member
856 posts
Busy bee

Our wedding isn’t until October 2020, but I already have about 80% done. Honestly, the most stressful part so far has been coordinating bridesmaids dresses. I wanted to be cognizant of my girls preferences on fit and such, but it ended up putting too many opinions in the mix. It all worked out and was short lived stress, but I highly suggest not involving your bridesmaids in the process until you’ve narrowed it down to the final options or just telling them what you’ve picked. Unless you don’t care at all! People will disagree with this, but my experience proved difficult because I wanted to accommodate too much. 

As far as overall planning, I really have just wholly focused on one piece at a time. If you put blinders on to all of the other things that need to get done and just tick things off at your own pace piece by piece, you will allievate a lot of stress. 

Post # 12
Member
87 posts
Worker bee

We aren’t getting married until June but so far the only stressful thing has been the guest list! With Italian families that are contributing to the wedding financially it is hard to keep the list reasonable. I would love an intimate wedding but it’s looking like we are going to have about 180 people which is my absolute limit! 

I think the only other stressful thing will be making the seating chart. With divorced families and old italian family members that hold grudges it should be interesting lol

Post # 13
Member
528 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

Our wedding was stress-free, by design. We had ~30 people, had a small wedding company plan everything for the ceremony (flowers, venue, chairs, officiant, photography, etc.) and then booked the top floor/loft of our favorite restaurant for a really nice dinner. When I say there was zero stress, there was absolutely zero stress. I wondered if I’d regret not doing things a bit more traditionally, but nope…SO happy with how it turned out. 

So my advice is to streamline as much as possible. If you don’t want to do something tiny/untraditional, try to minimize the choices you have to make. Catered in wedding food has a pretty low ceiling for how legitimately good it can be, so if you find an awesome venue that has included catering/decor/whatever, jump on it. Realize that all the things the wedding industry try to make you think are important (the dress, the flowers, 17 hours of photography and videos, favors, ceremony music, etc) are insignificant and nobody cares, so go with what you like and then move on. Once a decision is made, don’t keep looking, just close that book in your mind and move onto the next thing. 

Post # 14
Member
3157 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

whaleumarryme :  we had a sudden death in the family that caused my entire side to miss the wedding. (Destination wedding for them) So instead of doing the big church wedding as planned we canceled that one and in 6 weeks planned a totally different wedding. I think changing our plans last minute was the most stressful part. 

Post # 15
Member
1675 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Nancy_c :  Dear bee for weddings the internet is your best friend!  Pinterest alone will give you a gargantuan amount of options that you probably didn’t even know existed!  Be careful with that tho ….its easy to get overwhelmed with ideas.  Talk to as many relatives in Thailand that you can, they would know venues, where to get the best dresses, etc.  Most of all, it really comes down to what you want your wedding to look like…your vision, if you will.

Definitely though, a planner will be your best investment.

 

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