Mother and Step-Son Dance

posted 1 year ago in Reception
Post # 2
Member
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

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vgrimes93 :  Could you perhaps do a combination dance where it starts as the mother son dance and then her step son cuts in near the end to dance with your mother in law? Then let them have a short dance before opening up the dance floor to everyone? Just a thought! 🙂

Post # 3
Member
840 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2020

I feel like having a dedicated dance that involves two people that are neither the bride nor groom is a little strange. I mean, she can dance with her step-son to any song without it being dedicated to them alone. I would say she could pick a song she would like to dance with her step-son to, but I wouldn’t limit who else can dance during that time. You could even have the MC say something like “This song was chosen by MIL and dedicated to all vets” or something if she wanted a little shout-out.

Post # 4
Member
5909 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

I agree that it is a bit weird, she can literally dance to every song at the reception with him why does she need everyone to stop and watch? 

Post # 6
Member
840 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2020

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vgrimes93 :  I can understand that, but I don’t think your wedding is the place for that, unless of course you two are totally on board with it. How does her step-son feel about it? Does he know? He might be really uncomfortable with the idea.

Post # 8
Member
840 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2020

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vgrimes93 :  Oooh, yeah, I don’t know his brother obviously, but I know I personally would be really embarrassed if this were sprung on me and would think it inappropriate.

I still think maybe having the DJ announce that your Mother-In-Law chose this song and would like to dedicate it to her step-son and all military vets would be a good compromise. That way everyone else can keep dancing and she can feel like she gets that moment. Then she can just ask him to dance.

Or if you do have the floor open up during the mother-son dance, she can dance with her step-son then? And your husband can dance with your mom? That might be a good solution too.

Post # 9
Member
8951 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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vgrimes93 :  
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CloverBells : has the right answer: “I would say she could pick a song she would like to dance with her step-son to, but I wouldn’t limit who else can dance during that time. You could even have the MC say something like “This song was chosen by MIL and dedicated to all vets” or something if she wanted a little shout-out.

Especially if she’s intending it as a “surprise”. It’s natural that she would feel a bit left out at his wedding, but that has absolutely nothing to do with your wedding and giving them a spotlight dance at your wedding will only be awkward and confusing. I second the idea to let her pick a song and have the DJ announce it, but leave it open for everyone to dance to. That is more than sufficient.

Post # 11
Member
840 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2020

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vgrimes93 :  Ohhh…eek…yeah, with that I might just nix an announcement all together. With the father being there and already having a strained relationship with his son, I feel like this would cause unnecessary hurt and drama. If your husband’s brother wanted to dance with your Mother-In-Law that badly, he would have requested it at his own wedding. But he didn’t. I don’t think this is a good idea with this new information.

Again, if she really wants, she could ask him to dance during the end of the mother-son dance after everyone else has joined in. But with all this going on, I would ask him first. He might not be comfortable with this at all.

Post # 12
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse

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vgrimes93 :  The more updates you give, the more twisted the web gets. I really think you should just scrap the dance. She can dance with her step son if she wants but she doesn’t need an announcement that’s a surprise to him and all of the guests. And if he’s like 90% of military members, he won’t want a shout out or surprise for his service. Most people in the military hate that kind of attention. 

Post # 13
Member
637 posts
Busy bee

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vgrimes93 :  This is very strange to me. I think it is a horrible idea to “suprise” someone who is not the bride or groom at a wedding. I personally would be mortified! If she felt left out at HIS wedding, she needs to take it up with HIM. Not back him into a corner and force the dance. 

Post # 14
Member
967 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

call me a bitch or whatever but i find it quite rude of her to even ask you that. its not his wedding. its not her wedding. thats a pretty obvious narc move on her part. i would tell her no. your wedding isnt about either one of them and if she didnt get to dance with him at his wedding then tough cookies to her.

Post # 15
Member
6963 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

She needs to sit down somewhere.

I wouldn’t even make any more effort to figure out a solution here. Just tell her no. Nobody cares to see her dance at your wedding. Neither of them are the bride or the groom.

She needs to STAHP.

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