(Closed) Mother being judged for only having one child? Article inside

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
Post # 62
Member
403 posts
Helper bee

Honestly if you don’t produce a girl and a boy before age 33, have a natural birth without so much as a Tylenol, and feed them a 100% organic, fair trade, cruelty free, free range diet… I judge. Big time. 

Post # 63
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I am guilty of calling myself selfish for wanting only one child. I guess my reasoning was a selfish one, I didnt want to pay for multiple weddings, college funds, etc and save that money to travel in old age lol. I have since changed my mind to have multiple children because of the awesome but mischevious childhood that i experienced with my brother but I have never judged or even cared how many anyone else has.

Post # 64
Member
2091 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I am on the fence about having more children. My Fiance is the same way. I have a son, and he has began to say things about having a brother or sister! I didn’t think my own kid would pressure me. He draws pictures of siblings that do not exist. It is sweet and sad at the same time. I do wonder sometimes if he is missing something because of that. OTHER TIMES, I am glad he is the only one. He gets all the attention, toys, and time with us.

People always ask me if I will have more. I need a girl apparently, haha! It does not bug me because those people do not have to raise that child. They will not provide food, clothing, and shelter to that child. They will not have to stay up all night when that child is sick. They do not have to discipline that child or feel the embarassment when that child has a public temper tantrum. They will not have to finance that child’s future education. If the cost of children was free, I would be 100% willing to have another one. Since kids cost money, I must finish school and get a real job so that I won’t have to continue to struggle. I don’t want to have kids that I can’t afford to care for in the best way, with higher quality than I can do right now. 

No offense to people that have or came from large immediate families. I have a relative that married into one. Her husband is one of 8 children. They lived in a filthy house that was barely livable. The children ran wild. The house caught fire. Eventually, the sheriff kicked them out. The mother was a Stay-At-Home Mom, perhaps to save on child care, or to keep having babies. The children were good looking, but very skinny as there was not enough food. They are all adults now. The females have continued to live in substandard conditions and had a minimum of three kids. The boys are a bit better career wise, except for 2. Half of them are alcoholics (like the dad) or drug addicts, and they are ALL in miserable relationships and marriages. They all get this look in their eyes when they talk about their childhood; they never speak of it fondly.

I don’t want this to happen. I would rather tie my tubes than have a bunch of adorable, sad, and starving kids because I cannot afford them. Once upon a time I wanted 4! I have to accept that I am not in that position, at least not right now. I would rather raise one child VERY well, instead of a gaggle of kids poorly.

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