Post # 1
Hi fellow bees!
I’m struggling with the idea of a father daughter dance… My dad and I aren’t that close, I mean I see him probably once a month or so, but we haven’t always had the best realtionship. My mother on the other hand means the absolute world to me. I have lived with her since my parents divorced when I was in third grade. Should my father daughter dance be a mother daughter instead? It means more to me to dance with her? ( They are both walking me down the isle)
What to do, and how do I tell my dad??
Post # 3
Maybe you can pick a generic “parent” song and dance with your mom for half and then have your dad cut in half-way through to finish the song? That way you get to share a special moment with your mom but you are also honoring the “traditional” aspect of the wedding (if that’s important to you!)
Otherwise you’ve got to devise a tactful, yet honest way to tell your father that you are declining to dance with him. Is there another role you can give your father in the wedding, like doing a reading or saying a blessing before the meal (if you’re religious)? This way he doesn’t feel like you’re completely slighting him out of this important day. You can say something like “I understand that traditionally there is a father-daughter dance at the reception, but I don’t feel that it is appropriate for our relationship. I want you to know that I am going to dance with Mom but I still want you to have a special part in the day which is why I’d be honored if you’d do _________________________ instead”
There probably will be some hurt feelings, especially if he’s a really traditional guy or if he views your relationship differently but he should be able to be an adult about it and respect whatever decision you make.