(Closed) Mother doesn’t want to give the photographer a seat

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should the photographer have an assigned table/seat at the reception?
    NO, he's there to work! : (45 votes)
    29 %
    Yes, he's going to photograph food details and you don't want pictures of guests eating anyway. : (98 votes)
    62 %
    Not sure (Explain...) : (14 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 32
    768 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    definitely include them in your food count and above making sure that they eat with the guests at a table (i always feel weird eating in front of guests and prefer to be hidden) i would make sure that they eat at the SAME TIME as your guests. a lot of caterers wait for everyone else to be fed until they feed the vendors, but this just means that we as vendors have 2 minutes to shove food in our mouths (if that) to get back before toasts, dancing starts. make it known that the vendors should absolutely eat while you eat. that way you’re getting the most bang for your buck because NO ONE wants pictures of them while they eat. trust me. 🙂

    Post # 33
    7776 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    We ordered food for our photographers (they ate what our guests did because the vendor meal was the same as the kids meal. um, no.) but they told us that they would just eat outside the ballroom and didn’t need seats. Just ask your photogs.

    Post # 34
    4335 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @red_pepper_gal: I hadn’t thought of that! Of course the photographer should be in a place to easily get pictures of the toasts! Mine knows a group of people that I’m inviting, so I’ll just put her with them.

    Post # 35
    2161 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    You have to feed him or he will be allowed to leave to get a meal.

    I didn’t want pictures of any of us eating anyway.

    I would check your contract and see what it says.

    Our photographer and his wife, plus the videographer were with guests.  I strategically placed them so they could see us clearly, just in case there were any times that they would need to get a picture.

    Post # 36
    3148 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2010

    my photographer and my DJs were friends. they were paid workers, but were also trearted as guests and given seats. I also encouraged them to hit up the bar if they wanted to. but they were my friends.

    my photographer’s assistant was a guy I never met before. I gave him a seat too. they work LOOOONG days– like 12 hour shifts, you have to feed them, it’s only fair!

    Post # 37
    962 posts
    Busy bee

    I think it is so funny how all of these people keep responding with “you have to feed them” as though you even suggested that you would not feed them. OP, to answer your question, I do not think that they should be seated with guests. I think that that would be uncomfortable for them. I understand it is a nice gesture, but, really, they would probably prefer to be seated with other vendors.

    Post # 38
    69 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I know this is an old thread but I just wanted to add in case anyone had a similar question!

    In all the weddings I’ve shot (20+) so far, I’ve gotten a seat at a table with guests and am served the same meal as the guests. Not sure if this is more a regional thing, but I often work at least 12 hours and to not be served dinner would be awful. Also, we put in our contract that the photographer either must be fed or must be given an hour to find food else where. Everybody feeds us because they dont want to miss anything!

    Also, just wanted to note I can’t stand sitting with guests. People tell me their life story and ask a zillion questions about mine – I would MUCH rather eat in peace at a vendor table.

    Post # 39
    1004 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Your photographer should have a meal and a seat SOMEWHERE… not necessarily at a table with the guests. That is ok, and if you want to do it, but as a sometimes-wedding photographer, I would find it strange to sit with guests and eat, as they would be thinking I’m slacking on the job.

    However… you really need to feed them! I did a wedding where they told us to eat, but there was nowhere for us to sit. Awkward. Then it looks like you are stealing food AND slacking on the job.

    Let them eat away from the guests, and MAKE SURE that if you don’t strictly follow a timeline for the reception, that someone (planner, family member) makes sure they are back in time for any special events.

    Nobody needs or wants pictures of themselves or guests eating. Nobody looks attractive putting food into their mouths! Tell your mom that feeding the photograohers does not mean they are not working!

    Post # 40
    345 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    All of the weddings that I have worked at the tog has always been given dinner, usually served in a separate room whilst everyone else is eating, unless they are a friend

    Post # 41
    7899 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

    My photographer told us he (and his assistant) would eat in the back where the venue has a space specifically for the vendors to do such. I’ve never seen the photography team eat among the guests, but I know some people do that. We gave them and the DJ a separate vendor meal. I have no idea what it was.

    Post # 42
    2425 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    At my venue they had a vendor table somewhere in the back, where all the vendors eat. So they have a seat to eat their dinner, but not with your guests.

    Post # 43
    530 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @Mrs. Funnel Cake:  You should definitely feed the photographer in fact its in my photographers contact, regarding a seat though, I dont think he needs an assigned seat.

    Post # 44
    640 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Like said above, he should be fed but not seated with the guests. If he needs to sit down I am sure he can find a seat somewhere but he does not need an assigned one.

    Post # 45
    705 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I work for a catering company–we always include the vendors in our final count and also try to make enough food for staff as well.  We usually will make vendor plates before the buffet goes out or let them run through the leftovers with us after the buffet comes back.  Vendors and staff generally have a space to eat but not with the guests.

    Post # 45
    38 posts
    • Wedding: August 2015

    I’ve been seated with the guests at every wedding I’ve shot and I have never asked for it. I’ve also eaten what the guests have eaten. Usually I am given a spot close to the bride and groom so I can capture everything, quickly. I never ask to have a seat, but I always ask for a hot meal (and it’s always ended up being the guest meal). I forge great friendships with all of my clients – and have never asked to be treated like a friend but in the end – they treat me like they’ve known me for years. In turn, I get to have a great time, make guests laugh, capture their happiness because they are comfortable with me around – and make new clients. 

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