- 4 years ago
- Wedding: May 2016
My mother was diagnosed with bipolar when I was a toddler, and her and my father divorced when I was 8. I moved from my moms home into my dads home at 10 years old. Since moving with my dad, she pretty much wrote both my sister and I off. She lives her life, and we definitely were/are not on her top list of priorities. We sometimes go 6 months without talking or seeing eachother, despite the fact that we live 10 minutes away from one another. Other times, we are in contact every day or every other day for a 3-5 month period. When trying to inform her of our engagement, I could not even get a hold of her, and she did not return my calls. Finally, my fiance got a hold of her, and she congratulated us over the phone. It took her about 1 month to come over just to see the ring, and her response was minimal. Through out the wedding planning process, she could not have been more absent if she tried. She did not make it to the event of finding my dress, stating she could not take off work (understandable, though), and was worried my step-mom was going to be their, as well. We decided to do a destination wedding (always planned on it), but she stated that she was unable to go due to finances and mainly because she has a felon, and was unable to leave the country. I felt like we should not change our dream, because of her decisions in life. We decided to do a legal ceremony prior to the symbolic ceremony, and she attended. On our way to the ceremony, she drove me up their, and her biggest concern was getting gas money from me, and asking how much my fiance made, and that we make enough money, and she needed help. It sickened me, thinking, I’m about to get married and the only thing you’re concerned with is getting money from me? She was hesitant to go to the after-wedding party, due to my father/step-mother being present. I told her that it has nothing to do with them/her, and to put her differences aside for one day, to support her daughter and fiance/husband, so she did. I then had a bridal shower the same weekend, and once again, her main concern was getting money from me for gas. She was emotionally absent during the bridal shower, while we were all enjoying ourselves, and she was busy on her phone, and couldn’t pay for her meal, but definitely didn’t hesitate to have me pay for her meal at my bridal shower. We had our destination wedding, and it turned out better than we could have possibly imagined. We are now back, and it has almost been 1 week, and I have not received one call from her, concerned about how everything went or congratulating us, and I don’t feel like I should have to reach out to her every single time. I wished her a Happy Mothers Day through text message, because we were out of the country at the time, and had limited access to wi-fi, and she didn’t even respond to say ‘Thanks’, or anything. I’ve felt very alone in this process, and I’m wondering if anybody has dealt with a semi-similar situation, because I find it to be quite unique (maybe I’m wrong?)? If so, how did you deal with this, did you rise above?