(Closed) Mother gave away top tier of our wedding cake & topper

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
2141 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

why did you send it to her house instead of your own?

why didnt you explain anything to her or even ask if she would accept this job you assigned her?

this totally sounds like your fault, she is not a mind reader and its not her job to babysit your stuff (esspecially when you haven’t even asked her)

Post # 4
Member
4839 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’d be pissed too. Obviously you wouldn’t save it and specifically have it sent of you intended to give it away. If your father explained it to her too? That’s just malicious. I think you should go to your aunts and at least get your topper back. 

Post # 5
Member
3026 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

View original reply
2ndtolol:  I would contact your aunt and get your topper back. Explain your mother gave it away without consent and you both were fully intending to keep the topper as a memento. As for the cake, that can’t really be returned. It is really crappy of your mom to have done that. Yelling doesn’t really help in a situation though so your mother may have just been put on the defensive. Unfortunately, what’s done is done. If an apology is what you’re looking for, you can calmy sit down with her and explain how it hurt you. Though, you may still not get an apology and then you have to decide if a huge fallout is worth it over cake. However, I agree with PP that if you didn’t specify to her what was to be done with it then it was all a big misunderstanding/accident.

That’s my biggest fear with our topper so I plan to watch it like a hawk at the reception.

Post # 6
Member
2141 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

still sounds like you failed to communicate and deligate… you shouldnt of sent it to her without discussing it WITH her, you cant be mad that she didnt get your chinese whisper

Post # 7
Member
364 posts
Helper bee

Kay, so have your baker make you a tier of cake and have your mom pay for it. As for the topper- yes it’s unforunate that it’s gone but at the end of the day, it’s just one more thing that will be put away and you’ll probably never look at it again BUT if you want it that bad, ask your aunt for it. Problem solved!

Post # 8
Member
28 posts
Newbee

The cake is eaten, but get your topper back!

 

 

Post # 9
Member
4104 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Can you contact your baker and have them make you the top tier for your anniversary and explain the situation? I know it won’t be the exact same, but it might be some consolation. I would definitely try to get the topper back though. 

Post # 10
Member
374 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
2ndtolol:  I know its not the same but could a solution be that you reorder the same verison of the top tier of your wedding cake and have her pay for it? Our baker specifically asks people not to save the top tier and they give you a free top tier on your one year anniversary. I am betting its possible to have it remade. 

Post # 11
Member
238 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I’d try to get the topper back.

As for the cake, I’d be upset but I’d probably just try to have the bakery replicate it for anniversary. Not the end of the world. I’m sure she didn’t do it on purpose to hurt you. 

Post # 13
Member
9384 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

just ask for the topper back from your aunt.  You can always order more cake from the bakery.

Post # 14
Member
7582 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
2ndtolol:  Seriously, it’s cake. Call your aunt and tell her mom gave her the topper on mistake and you need it back. Order a cake on your anniversary from a local baker. Out of everyone I know who saved their top layer and tried to eat on their anniversary didn’t like it. They all took a bite and trashed it. FWIW our top layer came home with us, and the next day my DH ate it. We had our baker make us a fresh one on our anniversary. 

Post # 15
Member
9518 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Why would you aunt want the freakin cake AND topper? so weird. She could at least give the topper back. 

FWIW- cake in th freezer for a year is pretty nasty. I understnd why you are upset. Now you have the perfect reason to just order and new mini cake for your anniversery. And not share it with anyone but the husband.

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