Mother has anxiety and wants attention

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
306 posts
Helper bee

If I were you, I’d just focus on self-care and maintenance of boundaries. Schedule a session (for yourself) with a good therapist who can assist you in navigating the relationship. Be supportive if she decides to seek help; I would absolutely NOT say anything to the effect of “hey, I think you have xyz disorder”. 

Frankly, she sounds miserable. 🙁 I hope she does get help for whatever she may be dealing with. In the meantime, take care of yourself ❤️

 

Post # 17
Member
212 posts
Helper bee

zanyapple :  Unfortunately it’s an extremely misunderstood condition, and casual/self diagnosis can be damaging. Unlike other personality disorders, recovery is totally possible (with a lot of dedication and hard work) within 5 years.

Post # 19
Member
6588 posts
Bee Keeper

Oh my gosh bee this sounds awful. I get the cultural issues, but I would NOT be entertaining them again. Stop answering her calls and give yourself time to cool off a bit.

Post # 20
Member
1000 posts
Bumble bee

Well first, yes, you should not have snatched her phone away from her. 

The best course of action dealing with this type of behavior is to act uninterested. She feeds off of your reactions, whether they are positive or negative. The more attention you give, the more she thrives off of it and feels like she has power. 

Also, what you’ve described above is what is called a “smear campaign” or “distorion campaign.” It’s a classic tactic of manipulation to get you to eventually bow into what she wants. 

The best thing you can do for these is to maintain your self control first and foremost. Doing acts like snatching her phone from her will give her more credit with others. Another thing is to keep your other relationships in your life healthy. If people start being aggressive and “siding” with her, simply disengage. 

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