Post # 1
I have a very interesting situation. My parents have been divorced for over 20 years now and my mom has a female partner. My Mom is in a different city than me and the Future Mother-In-Law is in the same city. First, my Mom is upset because she does feel I am giving her enough to do and second she gets jealous if anyone helps me with anything. My step-mother sent me a message asking if there was anything she could do and when my Mom got wind of this she said “she would be really upset if I let my step Mom help.” Then I asked my Mom’s partner if she wanted a corsage and she said her and my Mom talked about it and it is mine and my Mom’s day so no because it would be awkward. WHAT?? I thought it was my day? But see that is how my mom is she thinks it is about her. So my Dad and Mom have had their same partners for the last 20 years, so I think I should get all women (my Mom, step-Mom, Mom’s partner, and Future Mother-In-Law a corsage. Now my mom is upset that my step-mom is getting a corsage and will not talk to me. I feel I am pretty close with my Mom, but her insecurities are making this so difficult to plan. I love everyone and I want everyone to feel special. Where I feel like my Mom thinks she should be the only one to feel special. What do I do???
Post # 3
@londonlyn: do it how you want, and then talk to your mom and let her know that you would like to honor everyone with corsages, but hers will be different to set her off as the mother of the bride
Post # 4
- Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa
Okay, so as far as I understand, all of the bridal party and parents (and sometimes grandparents) get corsages/boutinniers. I would do corsages/boutinniers for:
-Mom’s partner (I’m sure she would be honored to be included and was being polite before)
-Dad’s partner (stepmom)
Post # 5
@W292737: I agree. Don’t give in, but you can still set hers apart (and Future Mother-In-Law, too, since she raised your FI) in order to honor her special place. Honestly, this reminds me of my mom and her “woe is me” antics. With my mom, if I gave in on one thing, there’d just be something else to complain about. So I cave on nothing and do what I feel is right; she can deal with that how she likes, but I don’t dare feel guilty for not giving in.
Post # 6
Your mom is acting like a child. Do not give in. It would be really cruel to not get corsages for all the women, especially if both parents have had partners for 20 years. I’m sorry this is going to be hard for you, but it should not be.
Re: Letting people help: Oh well. The beautiful part of a lot of weddings is that the marriage is supported by a whole community of people. It’s not a competition to see who is closest to the bride and groom or who helps the most. You’re not handing out gold star stickers or anything. She needs to get over it. Don’t even mention other people helping you to her. It’s honestly none of her business anyway.
Post # 7
WOW!! Great advice!! Thanks!!