(Closed) Mother in Law already talking about me behind my back ….

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 1993

Future disaster?  Nah.

Typical mother in law situation?  Perhaps.


But just like you said – you can’t tell people how to spend their money, and if she wants to spend it on an announcement in the paper, well, I guess that’s what it’ll be.  

Try not to let her bother you.  Focus on your future husband and your new lives together 🙂

Post # 4
688 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Just let her waste her money! And make sure in the future you ALWAYS give her something practical, no matter how mundane it may be! 

Post # 5
872 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013


Seriously? A waste of money? 

I would sarcastically want to say, “You being at my wedding is going to be a waste.” 

Of course you must be diplomatic and refrain from saying such a hurtful thing because then it would lead to future disaster. 

However, this is simply a situation of not seeing eye-to-eye, she prefers one way and you another and that is alright. I would politely tell her that you do not wish to have faces in the newspaper, but let her know you appreciate her thought. 

As for the china bit, no one can talk me out of my favorite china set…ever. Just remember though she is going to view it differently and that is alright, accept the difference in opinion and move on. If she brings it up again, smile and say, “I understand what you are trying to say, but I still want to put the china set down as a gift idea for someone else who shares my same idea. People will gift us what they think is approperiate and I am happy with that, thank you.” 


Everything will turn out alright, it is fine. 

Post # 7
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

She gets a potato peeler for Christmas, do you hear me?

Post # 8
16 posts
  • Wedding: July 2013

why are FMIL’s so difficult about everything?!?!

do your own thing, its your wedding, not hers. im about ready to “kindly” explain to my Future Mother-In-Law that although i appreciate *cough cough* her input, she already had her wedding day and this wedding is for me and my Fiance.

just from my situation i felt like little things like this turned into bigger things as the planning went on. so i would politely start shutting her down now. that way she gets the hint now and doesnt get worse as time goes on.

Post # 9
552 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@axeyourmakeupkit:  hahahahaha! 


With MILs you gotta let stuff like this slide off your back or you will forever be miserable. Mine is the same way. Its like dealing with an 8 year old at times. If things are getting extra crazy with her, I meet my friends for coffee and let the ‘bitch-fest’ begin…lol. 

Good luck!

Post # 10
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012



Sounds like you’re taking a cruise on the “RMS Mother-In-Law”. Don’t go down with the ship, lol! Best way to deal with this is to let her do whatever she wants to do, if she wants to take her money and flush it down the toilet in a trivial newspaper ad then so be it, don’t even let it bother you.

If she calls up and hounds you about the china, your new hubby should take the responsibility of controlling his own mother and should politely thank her for her feedback but no other “imput” is necessary, it is your china and your decision. ‘Nuff said.

One of my requirements for getting married was his mother could not torture or maim me in any way, or I was going to make sure he shared in on all that pain. 😀



Post # 11
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You need you Fiance to put her in line!

Post # 12
2118 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Wow that would frustrate me so badly! Not only is she writing off a gift you actually want as a waste, she took money she could have spent on something you wanted/needed/cared about, and ACTUALLY wasted it. From reading your post, I feel like you don’t even want the newspaper announcement? So she’s using money she claims to want to spend on you and your Fiance to satisfy only her own wishes. That’s like the definition of selfish! A pseudo-gift indeed- she gets to boast about spending $200-$250 on you, when in reality she spent it on herself!

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