(Closed) MOTHER IN LAW and FH

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
3978 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Well if he’s upset about it I do think you should try to make an effort.

Go to some family functions. Say that you want to go even if he hems and haws. And then bring it up with her. Talk with her about what you’re doing and find something you can work on together.

Are you doing favors? Maybe you can get together one evening and work on them.

Bring your wedding book or inspiration pics with you and show her what your working on and maybe ask her opinion on a few things.

If you have pictures of the different dresses you tried and the one you picked, bring them and show and tell 🙂

I think you need to figure out whether his worry is because his mom is actually upset by this or if he’s just having freak outs for nothing.

Whatever it is I think the effort is worth it for all of your sanities.

Post # 5
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Ummm… traditionally speaking, and I could be wrong, but usually it isn’t the groom’s mom involved with ANYTHING.  It’s the bride’s parents, the mother especially, that is involved with the wedding planning.  since it’s traditionally the BRIDE’S parents who pay for everything.

It sounds to me like his mom is complaining because she didn’t get to go with you since she got to go with everyone else.  


For what it’s worth, I’m not involving either my mom OR his mom in our planning. 🙂

Post # 6
5883 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

This sounds like the tip of a bigger issue. Have you tried to figure out if he is upset about something else?

Post # 7
2263 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I agree with @KoiKove: I understand he’s upset but maybe it’s something else, too? I would talk with him to be sure. 

Personally, I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong! Future Mother-In-Law and family are far from us, we both tell his family what’s going on and what’s happening with our wedding.. but that’s pretty much all we do. 

Give her some little thing to help with, but you are not obligated to make her a larger part of the wedding planning than you are comfortable with. It would be worth the effort to make your FH feel better about it though if this is the only reason he’s upset. 

Post # 10
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@HappyBride1211: It’s understandable, especially since you’ve been trying to keep her in the loop.  You could always check with the others who have gotten married and see if THEY had the same or similar issues.  Who knows? Maybe she did the same with them and their guys!

We’re paying for our wedding ourselves and wouldn’t even accept any wedding-related help even if it was offered!  WAY too many people would want too much changed and our wedding would end up not being us.  At all.  

And then there would be bodies to hide, loose ends to tie up… or, in the very least, a lot of angry relatives cause I’d end up flipping out and going postal on everyone 😉  (That was all said as a joke.  I wasn’t serious in the least, except for the angry relatives, ’cause I’d totally end up telling everyone off and changing it at the last minute, lol).



Post # 11
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@HappyBride1211: I could be wrong but it sounds like she has said one thing to you and one thing to him. I would say call and talk to her yourself and maybe figure out together what the 2 of you can do


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