Post # 1
I received some very sad news the other day. That my future mother-in-law was in a car accident. To make a long story short, she won’t be able to attend my wedding in Australia in December any more (she lives in Germany). I’m devastated. I visited her in hospital yesterday, and she just looks horrible and in a lot of pain. I could only imagine how sad it must be for her to be in so much pain, and knowing that she has to miss out on her own sons wedding as well. We both haven’t spoken to each other about the wedding as yet, as I think that we will both just start crying if we do.
I’m writing on here to ask if anyone has any ideas for me, on how I can make my future mother-in-law, feel as happy and involved in the wedding as she can, considering her situation. I have already spoken to my Mum, and will arrange a laptop to be set up at the wedding for my mother-in-law to be able to watch the wedding live through Skype (hopefully the internet connection works properly on the day). Does anyone else have any other ideas of things I could do? I just feel so sad that she is not able to come and helpless. She was really looking forward to the wedding, as she has never been to Australia before. She had already bought herself a dress and showed it to me just last week and everytime I visit her, the wedding was all she would talk about!
So please, any tips, advice or ideas of things I could do would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much for your time!
Post # 3
I don’t have any tips. I wish I did. I just wanted to say I am sorry. I can’t imagine how hard this must be for all of you involved. I think Skype sounds like a good idea. Maybe if you can find one so late in the game or within your budget find a videographer so she would have a professional video to watch later? If not ask a friend to record it, just incase Skype isn’t working? Hugs. Stay strong.
Post # 4
Perhaps she can visit Australia when she is better, and you can go to a fancy dinner (wearing her new dress)?
I am so so sorry! Hoping she recovers quickly, and out of the hospital soon!
Post # 5
Will you be going back to Germany. Perhaps you can have a Wedding Party when she is feeling better and she can get to wear the dress.
Post # 6
@outback: I am so sorry to hear about your Future Mother-In-Law and hope she has a speedy recovery! Youre already off to a good start with the Skype setup, which was my first thought. If you’re having a church service, particularly a catholic one, have her included in prayers, and be sure to mention her at the reception. After you two get back, have her over and go through guest photo (maybe designate a friend to get all the little details – you’ll have those photos way before the professional ones) and maybe try and recreate the dinner and cake for her.
I think it’s very sweet that you’re being so thoughtful about this. Also, maybe spend a few minutes right after you’re done getting married to sit on Skype with her, just the 3 of you and talk.
Post # 7
I am so sorry to hear that! I think setting up a video link for her to see the wedding, and possibly the speeches would be great. Will she still be in hospital at the time of the wedding? Either way, you could organize for a hamper of treats be delivered to her on the morning of the wedding – a bottle of bubbly (non-alcoholic if she’s on medication), some good chocolate etc. I persume there will be family members also staying behind to look after her? Maybe you and Fiance could arrange a replica meal of your wedding breakfast be delivered to them so that they can be part of the reception in that sense – maybe get some friends of yours who won’t be attending to wait on them during the meal – and get those people who are staying behind to dress up and encourage her to wear the dress so she feels she’s celebrating.
Maybe during the speeches if you were having a bunch of flowers to give to both mothers, you could organize for one to be given to Mother-In-Law the same time.
Post # 8
I am so sorry for your Mother-In-Law 🙁 How awful!
I will also suggest a video link may be a good option. If you have a webcam and someone who can operate a laptop, a hosting site like Camstreams is easy.
And many dj services and venues offer streaming video services as well.
Post # 9
If it’s not too late… SKYPE HER THE WEDDING!
Post # 10
Im so sorry!!!
My sister in law (brother’s wife) has health issues right now which I didn’t know of until my mother told me. She said it’s possible SIL might not be able to make it because she can’t fly. I know it’s not the same as your mother in law not being able to make it but I just wanted to say I can feel you.
Post # 11
Once you walk down the isle you can both face the laptop and blow her a kiss. You could even give a small speech at the ceremony. I like what some other bees said when they suggested seeing her, having dinner with her once she is well. It would be wonderful to have chocolate, apple cider, little favors sent to her for the day of the wedding.
These little efforts will mean the world to her. You’re being so gracious, and loving during this time. You’re an amazing woman!
Post # 12
@outback: i don’t have much to add as I think you have been offered some great ideas (I particularly like something at either the ceremony or reception dedicated to her or a small party in Germany after). I know this is a difficult time, but with wonderful and caring family like you I am sure that will aid in her recovery. Best wishes to all of you.
Post # 13
Thank you everyone so much for your kind messages and well wishes. It means alot to me and I really appreciate it. I have given my mother-in-law my laptop and she will be watching the wedding live via internet. She’s trying her best to be as positive about her situation as she can. I just have my fingers crossed that she will make it out of the Hospital before Christmas.
My partner & I are planning to have a special dinner with her as soon as we return to Germany 🙂