(Closed) mother-in-law favoritism (dh's brother and sil) rant

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 17
Member
301 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I have the EXACT same situation!! I will forever be the least favorite in law! Future Mother-In-Law is obsessively in love with her daughter and her SIL (I try to tell myself its creepy to feel better lmao) and it’s like she has no interest in me or Fiance. It really hurts but I’m trying to get over it.

Post # 18
Member
397 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

WOW. This sounds like my life except neither of us are officially daughter-in-laws yet (my Fiance and I are getting married in March, them the following summer). It’s complicated though because future Mother-In-Law and I USED to be a lot closer than future SIL and here were (in fact, future Mother-In-Law used to strongly disapprove of her lack of modesty, being to touchy/feely around them, using bad language all the time) and future Mother-In-Law knew that we were going to be the ones living the closet because of careers. But to make a long story short, future SIL doesn’t have a close family and was always able to do “family stuff” when home from school and I was busy balancing his family/my family and all our friends and missed a lot. I’ll admit, I never liked the girl so when they started getting closer, I started intentionally not going to things like “girls day” because I couldn’t stand being around her and then I just grew apart from them. But, then conflict arose between my FI/his mom/brother/and SIL and his mom completely took his brother/SIL side so we literally quit talking to them (didn’t see them over holidays, nothing). We are slowly talking some but the relationship is over. They are all super close still and its ackward having to go over there (Let me tell you, Thanksgiving day was torture for me.. I am dreading Christmas) but.. you just gotta let it not get to you. I guess I feel secure because I know that my Fiance will always choose me over them, if I am not comfortable going over to see them, then we don’t go and he understands why. It has taken me YEARS though to learn that I can’t sit around and worry about them and there relationship, all I can worry about it my Fiance and I. And this may sound horrible, but SHE is the one who is going to hurt most. We have already discussed that our future children will have a very limited relationship with them and MOST LIKELY our children will be the only one living close to them because his brother and fiance will most likely move after he graduates school and they get married because of his job and will likely be hours and hours away. She teases us now saying when we have kids, shes going to “kidnap them for weeks” and we just smile and nod knowing that is NOT going to happen. 

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