Mother in Law gave me damaged jewelry as wedding gift.

posted 2 years ago in Family
  • poll:
  • Post # 16
    125 posts
    Blushing bee

    katekate1628 :  I do think your mil did have it to you because it is a heirloom jewelery. My partner’s grandmother have a 100 years old gemstone ring and it looks like a fake. She never cleaned it as it is not something people of her generation and circle do. 

    Ask your mil the story behind this ring. If you like the story and it is a beautiful ring overall, bring it to a jeweler and see how much it will cost to fix it. The thing is emerald stone are very soft, they break easily over time.

    Post # 17
    6384 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

    Leave the ring as is, put it away, and move on.

    Post # 18
    1716 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    Something close to 90% of emeralds are fracture filled (with cedar oil from the tree) often called oiling. The treatment is stable but not permanent. Cedar Oil is introduced at great pressure and heat. But, over time, if the ring was exposed to high heat or solvents — the oil can leak out leaving the cracks visible. Emeralds are fundamentally fragile stones and often don’t survive one wear’s lifetime, let alone multiple. She probably had no idea is was cracked or the filling has come out of the crack over time and you simply washed it away.

    All my family heirlooms show wear. I’ve retained a chip in a baguette in a ring as it is tied to a hilarious family story. Take the gift and move on.

    Post # 19
    1 posts
    • Wedding: December 2017

    hey there,

    I have a future Mother-In-Law that would do the exact same thing to me I feel.  She has given my stuff before that has been broken or cracked… but you know what? If you were to give her a gift like that SHIT would hit the fan and you would be in so much trouble.  I know its hard in Asian culture, my fiance is Korean, and the elders are ALWAYS right, even if they say the sky is green you can’t disagree… I would say if you want to take it apart and have things reset, show your husband the gift and the condition it is ina nd ask if you can get it fixed and fitted into something you can actually wear and show off… if he won’t supporrt you, keep in in a drawer until she dies and do what you want with it after.  haha

    Post # 20
    13590 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I’m confused — your Mother-In-Law gave you heirloom jewlery and you’re upset that it wasn’t in pristine condition?

    Should she have cleaned it before givng it to you?  Sure.  But she gave you a lovely piece of jewelry.  Wear it, cherish it, and then at some point, pass it on to your daughter like you would with any other heirloom piece.

    Post # 21
    231 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    My mother gifted me her mother’s wedding wet. Diamond earrings and a necklace. Before she gave it me my father wanted to clean the set but my mother was opposed to it. It was an antique set which should not be cleaned. Otherwise it would loose its value. She even took it to a jewellery and got their opinion on this. I am not sure about your set but maybe the reason behind why she gave it to you like this was smilar to that.

    Post # 22
    2868 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    JiminyCricket :  Exactly. It is emeralds and diamonds, although dirty. It doesn’t necessarily belong in a drawer locked away. Try and get it cleaned.

    Post # 23
    401 posts
    Helper bee

    Talk to your husband.  he might know more about this piece of jewelry – history, background, use, how it came to be a nd maybe how to handle the fact it is broken.

    Post # 24
    2333 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    Sorry, who cares??? Did you need some amazing jewellery?

    If so, buy it yourself. If not, get over it

    Post # 25
    2130 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I don’t buy the whole ‘didn’t know it was dirty and didn’t know it was damaged’ theory. Why would she not say “this set has damage but it is a family heirloom” ?? 

    I think she knows what she has done, but be the bigger person and just stick the ring in a jewellery box. You could wear it on a necklace maybe? Other than that, Mother-In-Law won’t be around forever so I guess after that (sorry to be so grim) you could reset it or do whatever you want with it. 

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