(Closed) Mother in Law Invites the Planet to my Wedding

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Uhgg! Sounds soo annoying! This hasn’t happened to me yet but I have a very strong feeling that when I begin to plan my wedding my Future Mother-In-Law is going to invite all sorts of people who I probably don’t even know!! So I feel ya girl… Good luck :/

Post # 4
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Yikes! Sounds like you might need to consider a destination wedding at a reallllllly pricey locale in the middle of nowhere. That way, she can invite as many people as she wants to, but most will not come 🙂


Sorry you are dealing with this, Good Luck!

Post # 7
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t know how you feel but I have an Indian friend and she is marrying a white guy. He has 50 people on his list (friends and family) and she has 500. I’ve been to a few Indian weddings. WOW! They are fun, but always always big! I’ve heard of the guest list wreaching 1500 at some Indian weddings. Maybe just keep reminding her of the costs.

Post # 8
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

600???  Wow that is A LOT.  Is she helping to pay for all these guests??

Post # 9
413 posts
Helper bee

As the MOB, I don’t really have any “advice” but certainly understand your pain!  The groom’s parents aren’t helping with the wedding.  We set the number of guests we could afford, then let the bride & groom have their say.  We then subtracted that number from the total and divided in half.  We gave his parents the maximum number they could invite and when we finally got the list (6 weeks late!) it was 35 people over.  I told her they needed to give me a check or cut the list.  She told me couldn’t cut the list, I told her I had no more money!  LOL  I handed the list back to them and told her to figure it out. 

Sometimes you just have to put your foot down.

Post # 11
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

hey, i don’t think i’ve gotten my invite yet.  just kidding 🙂

Mother-In-Law alert – i thought my then future-MIL was fine until we were planning the wedding and then she let all sorts of crazy come out. she invited people that neither i or Darling Husband knew. i mean, seriously, does her friend from high school who lives on the other side of the world really need to come. from this experience, we are never accepting money from her or Father-In-Law ever again. it’s a huge weight held above your head.

Post # 12
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Italian Future Mother-In-Law and Italian Fiance.  So yes, I am also watching our guest list getting out of control.  Although our numbers are nowhere near as high as yours! 450?! Yikes!

My leverage was the budget until Fiance pointed out that everybody he talked to told him they got their wedding expenses back in monetary gifts, and his side of the family will all give cash b/c they’re Italian. Uhm, I don’t think so.

Post # 14
929 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@jll1313: Oh no 🙁  I’m so sorry to hear that this has been making you hate being engaged.  THats terrible!!

I agree with the Mother of Bride PP – at a certain point you have to put your foot down, ESPECIALLY if you are paying!!  Try and enjoy your engagement and don’t let the downers get you down.  Good luck!

Post # 15
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

If the cost of adding that many people to your guest list is less than the amount of money she gave you for the house, I would give her her money back and then only send invites to a reasonable number of people. 


Also, it’s possible to have a Destination Wedding that is also Catholic. Especially if you travel to Europe. 

Post # 16
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I am not sure if assuming people are giving you money the day of the wedding is the best idea. What if people don’t how are you going to pay the vendors?  


If I was in this situation I would be giving every last penny I had back to Future Mother-In-Law so she could never say “I gave you money for the house”.  I don’t think this is the last time you will be hearing that sentence from her.

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