- 4 weeks ago
OKAY so first thing’s first, my Future Mother-In-Law is a very sweet woman. We get along great, and her two sons are her whole world.
That being said….. she’s a little overbearing. My FH has pointed out that she acts differently around me because she “wants to be my BFF” (his words) because she and FBIL’s now ex-wife never got along. I’m a pretty introverted person, so she can be mentally exhausting. Especially since she can be a little clingy when it comes to her sons.
Anyway, lately, I’ve been a bit frustrated with her behavior. She calls at least once a day, but usually more. She actually has his location at all times because of the “Find My Friends” app on iPhone (which she “jokingly” insists that by the time we are married, she will have me tracked as well.) So, when she sees him at home, she will call him and ask if he will come over and do things for her (basically honey-do’s.) And while I think that’s just fine, especially since her husband passed away 7 years ago, it always seems to be right when we are sitting down for a meal or when we have plans. But that’s not really the biggest issue here….
The past month or so, she’s been a mess. She spontanaeously bought a puppy that she had to drive 6 hours one way to pick up (FBIL drove her) just because she was lonely. I’m a huge dog lover, so I understood. But unfortunately, she’s not really taking care of it as well as she should be. She’s not letting it outside, so it’s just defecating all over her apartment. I mean, she’s not starving it or anything so I’m not necessarily worried about it, but it just seems like she didn’t understand that puppies need training. About a week ago, we dropped her off at her apartment and I noticed that the overhead light in her car was on. FBIL confirmed that she has left it on a lot lately, and that she insists it “keeps turning itself on.” The very next day, she pulled out in front of someone and got in a car accident. Totaled both cars. She’s fine other than some bumps and bruises, but she did have to stay the night in the hospital. Today, FH was off work, so when I took my lunch break, we were going to eat together. The second I walked through the door, she called him crying that she locked herself out of her apartment. He then told me that she did the same thing last night, and FBIL had to go rescue her. So that’s twice in less than 24 hours.
I’m not sure if she’s having a bad couple of weeks, or if we should be worried. Her father had Alzheimers. She’s 63. I don’t want to be the one to bring it up, but I also don’t want it to go unnoticed and she get herself hurt. I also feel terrible that I’m frustrated about it, but I am. My own mother lives right down the street from us, and we don’t see or hear from her nearly as much. I had an awful thought that she’s just trying to get attention, but I don’t truly believe that. I really think she might need help. But how do I put that gently? I don’t want to worry FH unnecessarily, or have the idea relayed to her and she be offended. Part of me feels like I should just keep putting on a smile and just keep observing.
Does anyone have any advice or similar stories to share?