Post # 1
Member
12 posts
Newbee
Hello Ladies!
So I posted about a month ago about my mother in law who is not getting me a guest list. In the same week, she told me that she would have it finalized and mailed to me by the end of last week. As late as it is, I didn’t say anything more to her but “thanks” because at least she was working with me and going to be getting it to me. And at least I had a date that I could order my save the dates by. The end of the week came and went, and still no guest list from her, not even a phone call or anything to say, “listen, got it done and will have it sent out on Monday.” NOTHING! I don’t know what to do anymore. I go to design out invites and order our save the dates on Wednesday, and if I don’t have the list by then, her guests will not be getting save the dates. But I’m so sick of it.
She also got upset that we blocked off a room for her and her husband at our reception site, along with all of the bridal party. We did not pay for it, just blocked it off at a wedding discounted rate and she got upset with my mom and I for it, didn’t say anything to us about it when we told her. But went back to my fiance and complained that we did it behind her back. She doesn’t have to take the room, all we did was block it. Anyone else can use it. I don’t understand what’s going on. Any advise fellow bees? Thanks!
Post # 3
Member
4352 posts
Honey bee
@SoldiersAngel12: Is she snail mailing it to you? And I would just give her a deadline and tell her if its not in then those guests don’t get Save-The-Date Cards. Is she paying for the wedding?
Post # 4
Member
1103 posts
Bumble bee
She sounds a bit weird, most people would be thankful to have a room blocked for them (that they didn’t even have to use if they didn’t want!) I would just say “if you don’t have your guest list to us by Friday, Fiance and I will put one together for your side of the family and that will be it”. I think you are being very lovely by even giving her a guest list.
Post # 5
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
I dealt with the same exact thing with my Future Mother-In-Law. One week before the deadline I gave her they decided they would email ALL potential invitees and ask if they would be able to make it. She said they only want to invite people who are 100% sure they can come. ISN’T THAT THE POINT OF THE INVITATION?? Plus we are inviting more than we want at the wedding, assuming some won’t be able to come. If I would have known they were going to get confirmation BEFORE we sent out the invitations I would have told them they could invite less people. And then she refused to send me their list until they heard from every single person they emailed about coming to the wedding. In-laws…. I’m SO over them.
Thanks for providing the opportunity for me to vent 🙂
Post # 6
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
I wish I had advice on how to handle the situation. The same thing happened to me. I asked my Future Mother-In-Law for address in August and asked if she would have them to me by November. November came and went. She had her address book out to send out Christmas cards in December and I asked her “Since you have your address book out do you mind copying down the address for me of people you want to invite.” Didn’t get anything….Finially I get the addresses last week. I sent the save the dates out right away because they are already a month behind the ones I send out for my family. Then Future Mother-In-Law calls me Sunday night and asks, did you send those out yet? Because there are people on the list I don’t want you to invite.” Are you flippin’ kidding me?! Why did you put them on the list if you didn’t want them invited! Argg FMILaws!!!
Post # 7
Member
12 posts
Newbee
@asscherlover: I’ve already given her a deadline twice now. They both came and went and…NOTHING! And no, she’s not paying for the wedding, my parent’s are. She and her husband want to pay for our rehearsal dinner. Which don’t get me wrong, is very sweet of them but we have veryyy different tastes, and she is definitely planning it her way, but I refuse to argue over that. So, I’m letting her have it. But, she’s planning out the dinner, and asked me for a guest list to that, which I got to her the same day! And yet, I still have nothing on the wedding invites guest list for her side!!
Post # 8
Member
12 posts
Newbee
@mountain.bride: Yeah, that’s how I feel. And she was mad at ME because my family knew that her son was going to propose but they didn’t. UMM, first off, he asked my dad for permission…which is a pretty big clue to my family. And I had no idea he was proposing or when, so don’t be mad at me. I think she has some attachment issue with her sons, and it’s kinda an “I’m the mommy and I’m not ready to let go yet” thing. UGH!
Post # 9
Member
12 posts
Newbee
@Tayylin: WOW! are you kidding me? I can’t believe that she would do something like that! But, I do have to say that I’m glad I’m not the only once going through guest list issues with the in laws! I feel crazy for being so upset about it, but knowing that I’m not the only one doesn’t make me feel so insane. And hey, vent any time girl! This is the place I get out my frustrations and get some great advise back! love it!
Post # 10
Member
12 posts
Newbee
@AJA1128: Wow, seriously? That’s just plan crazy. What is it with in laws and guest lists? They have soo few tasks for the wedding, you’d think they could just get them done by the deadline and be done with it. But no. Sorry you’re going through it too! feel free to message me any time if you want to talk, vent, or need advise! And good luck!
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