(Closed) Mother-In-Law Madness

posted 8 years ago in Family
  • poll:
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1638 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    There isn’t a poll attached Frown

    But I can imagine how frustrating this situation is for you. Have you discussed this calmly with your husband? He needs to understand it’s not just him & his mom anymore, he is a married man and his wife’s needs should be important to him. Maybe once he understands this he can talk to his mom about backing off a bit. Not from being a parent but just from butting in to your married life. You guys need “you” time together sans Future Mother-In-Law. Also it’s just creepy that she insists they have to be partners while playing games, it would honestly piss me b/c you bond during that type of stuff.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1638 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Have you just called or emailed her and said that you are taking him to the beach for some married couple time alone? Maybe that would get her to back off a bit if she knows you already made plans for just the two of you.

    Post # 7
    Member
    7975 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    🙁 I think it’s really important you talk to your Darling Husband about this! It’s going to ultimately be up to him to draw boundaries with her and it will be more effective for her to hear it coming from him — plus nothing you try to do with her will help at ALL until he is on your ‘side’ or understands your perspective. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    2641 posts
    Sugar bee

    I agree with daydream.

    I don’t see this situation as being too far gone, especially since you say you otherwise like your Mother-In-Law. 

    I would say, with regard to the birthday, perhaps allow for a family event.  So in other words, you don’t get the beach and hubby to yourself.  But neither does Mother-In-Law.  1.  It sounds like your husband and Mother-In-Law are  close, so he probably wnats her there. 2. (Coming from a mom perspective) his birthday is really special to her.  Perhaps in a way, more so than to him.  She was there! -She remembers it better:)

    And by all means get your alone time.  But it’s a touchy issue.  You understandably, are feeling a little like a third wheel.  But you also don’t want to start looking like the “bad guy”. 

    Does she have daughters?  Perhaps you can spend a little alone time with her.  Then maybe she’ll feel more balanced, and won’t rely on Darling Husband so much?  But anyway, I would try to just talk to Darling Husband about feeling excluded.

     

    Good luck.

    Post # 9
    Member
    595 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    In our marriage councelling our pastor was asking us how are parents were handling the upcoming wedding… He explained that some parents have a hard time letting go and adjusting. Because when we are married the priority of people shifts… not that parents are any less important or loved but parents become second to your spouse after marriage. I think it is important that you talk to your Fiance about that. It will only continue to cause discomfort for you. And you are to be priority now.
    When you are married you both leave your parents and become one.
    Easier said than done… I know.

    Hope that helps… 🙂

    The topic ‘Mother-In-Law Madness’ is closed to new replies.

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