Post # 1
<span style=”color: black; font-family: Verdana;”><span style=”font-size: small;”>I have been dating my fiancé for a little over 3 years now, and over this time, my Future Mother-In-Law has been simply a nightmare. She has been nothing but nasty to me, she is nasty to my fiancé as well, and she causes fights between me and my fiancé, and butting in when it’s never any of her business. We only have 10 months till the wedding and everything that we have planned this far she has ruined the experience or situation in some way.
<p style=”text-indent: 0.5in;”><span style=”color: black; font-family: Verdana;”><span style=”font-size: small;”>Last Christmas she even had the nerve to call me “fat Meagan” not “skinny Meagan” in front of his whole family when someone asked who’s gift that was since we spell our name the same. Another time was when I was in the hospital due to a disease where I couldn’t walk, which I now know what it is and I am being treated for and she went around telling people that I was just faking it and that I wanted attention.<span style=”mso-spacerun: yes;”> I was in a lot of pain and that just really hurt and upset my fiancé more than anything as well.
<p style=”text-indent: 0.5in;”><span style=”color: black; font-family: Verdana;”><span style=”font-size: small;”>I am at a loss because I have tried talking to her and I have tried explaining that I shouldn’t be her worst enemy I should be viewed as an ally considering no matter how I feel about her I am the one who makes us go over to her house and have dinners, and involve them, however nothing is good enough.<span style=”mso-spacerun: yes;”> She has ruined so much for me that I am resenting her and I don’t even talk to her much anymore just enough to get by without being rude because I don’t want to be like her.<span style=”mso-spacerun: yes;”> I don’t want to stoop to her level of nasty and unkind things.<span style=”mso-spacerun: yes;”> Everyone in the family is on my side however everyone is so scared of her to stand up to her.
<p style=”text-indent: 0.5in;”><span style=”color: black; font-family: Verdana;”><span style=”font-size: small;”>Any help with how I should handle this or if anyone else is in the same or similar position.<span style=”mso-spacerun: yes;”> I really don’t want to have this kind of stress and tension when I am around her and it’s visible to the rest of the family and anyone around just how nasty she is to me and how uncomfortable I am around her.
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Post # 3
Woooow your Future Mother-In-Law sounds like a realll dooozyy….I hate hate hate my Future Mother-In-Law too so I can only give you advice on what I do which is ignore her. It sounds like all she wants is the be the center of attention and you being the bride is taking that away from her. Dont play into her games its exactly what she wants!!!
Post # 4
The good thing about this is that everyone knows she’s a peach and doesn’t think you are making this up 🙂
I don’t blame you one bit for not wanting to be around her…distance is a great thing! How does your Fiance feel about her? Does he want a relationship with her in the first place and you make him do things with her? One solution would be to let him do what he really wants with her and that may be very limited contact in her life.
I’m with Lovespearls…you are the bride, therefor she’s not #1. I’m experiencing the same thing with my Future Mother-In-Law but this is always her thing when it comes to others life moments, birthdays, graduations, etc.
Post # 5
The good news is that you are marrying your fiance, not his mother. the bad news is that unless HE wants to cut her out of his life (which I doubt, and don’t reccommend) that she will be a part of your life until she passes on. Th eonly advice I have is to try to ignore her (I’m sure she thrives on the misery she causes you), and take comfort in the fact that others are on your side. Has your fiance said anything to her about it? Sadly, that might add fuel to her fire. I wish you luck!
Post # 6
Wow. That is awful! Unfortunately, other that killing her with kindness and being the bigger person like you have been (without being a pushover), I’m not sure there’s a whole lot you can do! I’m so sorry! Definitely be careful that this doesn’t start effecting your relationship in the future and good luck!!
Post # 7
I’m so sorry that you’re going through this! You are doing everything that you can by taking the high road. My hat is off to you for staying so kind when this is going on. Kudos for that! And thank goodness that you have the support of everyone else.
In 10 months time (though I’m sure this is the case now), you will be the most important person in your FI’s life. IMO, he should be standing up to his mother for you. Not in a nasty way (like your FMIL), but in a way that is respectful, firm, resolved, and united. I’m sure that he loves his mother, even if she does cause familial strife, but enough is enough.
Post # 8
you and your Fiance need to just stay away from her… stop contacting her.. only return her calls if TOTALLY necessary – and make your Fiance talk to her only.
If she is going to behave this way to both you and her own son, then maybe she needs to be excluded for awhile so she can realize how awful she has been towards you two.