Post # 1
I’m going crazy over here. My future in-laws are in town visiting for a cousins wedding. They live on the other side of the country, so they decided to stay for a whole week. FMIL is one of those incredibly over-nice people, which is ordinarily easy to deal with if you aren’t spending 24 hours a day with her.
They are staying at my fiance (and well…mine since we are soon to be married and staying in his current house.) I currently live in a different state, but was able to spend 8 weeks here.
FMIL is acting like this is her house!! She’s telling me how to cook, where to put stuff, and buying junk that we don’t need and trying to decorate the house. She has complete opposite taste of me, and I haven’t liked anything she’s boughten. She has even told me how to pack a lunch for my fiance. She’s took over doing our laundry, and in the process has shrunk some of my clothes. She has gone into our bathroom and taken items of mine without asking. She’s even invited people over the house multiple times already without asking (like 5-10 people at a time). She even breaks our rules with the dog. We only give the dog a small portion of table scraps in her bowl after dinner, but she has been feeding the table table food throughout the whole meal.
I know that she is only trying to “help out” but she IS TAKING OVER OUR HOUSE. I haven’t said anything because I dont want conflict, I just NEED TO RANT!!!!! She needs to stop being so nice, and let me be the host, and let her be the guest.
ONLY TWO MORE DAYS THOUGH!
feel free to join in blowing off steam
Post # 3
Forgot to mention that fiances parents are chipping in nothing for the wedding, which isn’t a surprise because they aren’t well off. Thats fine…
We choose an expensive place that will be $90 a plate. FMIL has been giving oral invitations out to people that we were NOT going to invite… !! So now we have to spend more money on people we dont want at the wedding because she has a BIG MOUTH!
Post # 4
My FMIL is the reason my FH has trust issues. Can’t blame him, but it makes me SO mad. And she doesn’t think or act like she did anything wrong.
There are lots of things I’d like to say to her but I can’t.
(PS. You don’t have to invite people your FMIL verbally invites. She can explain herself later on if it comes up.)
Post # 5
lol at the taking over of the house because it wasn’t my ILs who did that, it was my own parents!! not to your extent though, and I’m so sorry you have to put up with it. it’s hair-pulling frustrating!!
Post # 6
@FutureDrZ: why are you obligaated to send invites out because of her big mouth? she blabbed… and she can take her big mouth and tell them she jumped the gun! why spend the money so she can “save face?”
OP – hang in there… 2 more days!!! once you’re officially in there you both can set boundaries and rules as a united front towards both sets of parents!
Post # 7
im glad im not the only one that feels this way! 🙂
BTW – i talked to my fiance about my feelings on this..and all he says is… “She’s trying to be nice and helpful”
well YEAH maybe she is…but shes offending me in the process, and I’m a little upset that my fiance is siding with her and telling me to not let it get to me. I figured I would wait until they are gone to talk to him about it again.
Post # 8
my DH and I both felt increasingly frustrated with my parents when they were staying for a week, so I know that if I really needed to sit them down and talk to them, he was going to be with me.
I don’t see how your FMIL is trying to be nice by telling you how to do things, and helpful by ruining your dog’s training at all.
Post # 9
yikes! good luck!! make sure to kindly remind him that you and him are going to be a united front soon!
Post # 10
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
@FutureDrZ: Just because she “told”people they were invited, doesn’t mean they are. If you are controlling the finances, and therefore the guest list, FI (and he needs to step up and do this, not you) needs to set her straight now. “Mom, you have XX people you can invite. If you want more, you either need to pay for them, or forget it.”
SHE’s the one who would “look bad,” not you.
Post # 11
you should chat with your hubby about presenting a united front. they are bound to visit during your life time, you don’t want to be going through this ALL the time. Good luck!
Post # 12
That’s ridiculous about the verbal invites. Don’t invite them and tell them you don’t have enough space/the budget won’t allow.