(Closed) Mother In Law Ruined Proposal HELP

posted 6 years ago in Proposals
Post # 3
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

@wvbride87:  Honestly, it’s in the past now.  I’m not sure what sort of help you would like unless you suggest your now Fiance to surprise you with a more romantic proposal.

Post # 4
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I agree.  It’s in the past, and there are no do-overs.   I would just move forward knowing that his family is excited.    If there is more to the story, like a Future Mother-In-Law issue, then I could understand why you’re feeling funny about it all.

Post # 5
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

Ask him to re-do the proposal as a surprise in a more intimate setting.

I do not think you’re being unreasonable in how you feel.  I would be super pissed if someone was interrupting my proposal by commanding that I turn to take pictures.  She should have just taken pictures of you guys’ natural reactions.  Sounds a bit obnoxious to me.

Post # 6
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@wvbride87:  Just focus on the postives – you’re getting married to the man you love! Real life isn’t always perfect and it’s unfortunate that the proposal wasn’t everything you imagined, but it’s in the past now, try to focus on the future

Post # 8
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

My Mother-In-Law “ruined” our proposal too. Honestly, in time it really wont matter. It’s in the past and there’s nothing that you can do to change it so my advice is to just get over it and enjoy your engagement. 

As for asking him to re-do the proposal (like some PP’s mentioned), I disagree. Just like my Darling Husband, your Fiance planned a proposal that he thought would be special to you. He shouldn’t have to do it all over again because something out of is control made it less than perfect. I was a bit bummed after my Mother-In-Law let the cat out of the bag but she obviously didn’t do it on purpose. Darling Husband felt bad enough. Making it painfully obvious that I was dissapointed would have just made him feel worse.

I got over it and you will too.

Post # 9
2006 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I think you should just learn to laugh at it, because it is over and done with.  Just be happy that you are getting married and that his family clearly approves!

Post # 10
891 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Focus on what is ahead, a lot of good things coming your way and with alot of fun weddingplanning. As one poster said, past is in the past basically. You are still engaged 😀

Post # 11
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

This will be a funny story you guys tell your kids when they ask years from now.

Post # 12
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I think I would just laugh it off and worry about wedding planning/ enjoying your life together! The fact that my DI proposed makes me happy enough – he could have done it in a garbage can and I would have been just as happy! 🙂  I would feel terrible asking my Fiance to redo a proposal. Like you said he didn’t intend for it to turn out that way and just because you didn’t get to kiss doens’t mean that he didn’t put his entire heart and soul into asking you to be his wife! 

Post # 13
2416 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

hahah yikes! It’s funny in retrospect…although I agree, I never would have wanted to be proposed to in front of any group!


Post # 14
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Why dwell on something that you absolutely, positive cannot do anything about?!  Just own it, embrace it, laugh about it, and be happy that not only did he propose to you but your Future Mother-In-Law was super excited about it.  You’ll definitely want to take this experience to practice getting over things not going perfectly, because trust me there will be plenty of things on your wedding day you’ll wish you can change, but you don’t get to re-do that day either!  Focus on the positive, don’t sweat the small stuff.

ETA:  By The Way I wouldn’t call that “ruined” – it may not have been how you imagined it happening in your mind, but it was still a successful proposal after all, since you got engaged, right?  My husband proposed in front of both of our families during Thanksgiving dinner, everyone knew but me, I thought it was sweet and I’m happy that everyone got to share in the excitement of the moment.

Post # 15
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

all you can do is laugh! Move forward and start planning the wedding! at least you know he loves you enough that he wanted his family to be apart of that special moment 🙂

Post # 16
159 posts
Blushing bee

Wasnt this on an episode of “everybody loves Raymond?”  LOL

Does he come from a big family? big families and the offspring from it are used to total chaos, and are the most easy going people ever…

My hubby proposed to me at Christmas eve at his mothers house – while everyone was frantically and loudly opening up their presents (he comes from a family of 8 kids, most married, all with kids – its like stadium noise when they get together ack!) no one knew until my two girls (from my first marriage) got all excited at the ring box and starting jumping all around the room…He never even had the chance  to ask me because everyone was all in a uproar at that point lol so really, I didnt get a proposal, just an absolutely gorgeous .84 natural green diamond engagement ring slipped on my finger and a kiss…

fast forward to today – we are helping plan our daughters wedding as she finishes  her BA to go onto law school…and im still married to the man who didnt propose to me LOL


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