(Closed) Mother in law to be wearing off white?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

If you’re not comfortable with it, I would definitely tell her so. I had to ask tell DH’s stepmother that wearing a white dress to my wedding was in no way appropriate. Offer to take her shopping to look for a new one, or ask if she’d be open to dying it another colour since it’s off-white.

Post # 4
Member
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Yew, how tacky. Even her daughter says it’s a no-no?! You need to tell her that you’re not okay with her wearing a color so close to white. Totally inappropriate.

Post # 5
Member
3620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

My mom wore a buttercream suit to my brother’s wedding – it was more of a pale yellow, not white/off-white, and totally fine… maybe that’s what your Future Mother-In-Law has? I will hope!

Post # 6
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

tell her you searched. tell her you only saw 3 dresses, 2 of which were traditional bridal colours and that there was no mention of butterbloodycream. ask her to help you search again, *all confused* because you feel sure that she wouldn’t have chosen to buy a dress that would be in a colour traditionally reserved for brides on their wedding day.

Post # 7
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

if you’re not okay with it, TELL HER. she obviously realized it might be a problem and did it anyway. offer to go shopping with her and recommend a color.

Post # 8
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

she is your future mother in law. you will have to have a relationship with her for, hopefully, the rest of your life. i’d decide how important this is to you and tread lightly.

Post # 9
Member
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I’m with @junabiona. Say something if it’s truly working your nerves, but be very gentle.

Because at the end of the day, this is a woman you will have a relationship with for a long time. And besides, no matter what she wears, you are the bride. All eyes will be on you, no matter what.

Post # 10
Member
2090 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

You are going to be spending the rest of your life having a relationship of some sort with this woman – and you have to pick your battles. I guess you just have to decide how important it is to you. If is bothers you a bunch, then maybe you should say something in a nice way.

My step-mom in law wore white to my wedding. A totally stark white tunic/dress (no pattern on it, no jacket with it – a white dress). I don’t know if she did it because she thought it was lovely on her, or to get a rise out of me. Either way, it just wasn’t a battle I wanted to wage with her. Everyone will know you are the bride, and if people noticed she wore white, it only reflects badly on her.

Post # 11
Member
661 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I feel like I relate with everyone on this board!!  lol

Going through the same thing.  Mother-In-Law bought the dress IN WHITE and doesn’t think anything of it.  She keep saying “well, you’re dress isn’t white”  (It’s a form of white, btw, its called seashell; which is ivory with hints of champagne when the light hits it).

So, I got my Fiance involved.  “Talk to your mother, she bought a whilte dress”. 

His response “I don’t get it? Is it that big of a deal”

Hey do your research and you tell me honey.  – so he did his research, saw all the negative comments and helped spk to his mother.  She bought an aqua dress.

So, my advice to you … since its your Mother-In-Law and you two are not that close (which I can relate) – Talk to your Fiance, tell him how it makes you feel, and see if he can’t talk to her about it (since its his wedding too)

Post # 13
Member
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’d let it go if you know she’s not going to react well. Trust me, people will notice and she’ll stick out but it’ll only look bad on her. Why make it into a huge argument? Unless it actually looks like a wedding dress I wouldn’t worry too much.

I’d say just let this one go and you’ll look like the bigger person.

Post # 14
Member
661 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

My mother said the same thing.  “If she wants to wear white, the other people will just think she’s an idiot, don’t bother with it.”

But, it really did bother me.  You don’t want your Fiance to tell her off – do you think if he approaches her, sincerely, and tells her “Mom, wearing an offwhite dress really bothers me.  You couldn’t pick another dress, perhaps? ” and continues to explain why it bothers him … do you think she’ll listen?

Its really the only thing to do left.  You don’t want to burn the bridge (since she is now family – and again, I relate, trust me! lol)  But, at the same time, you don’t want to be so boiled on your wedding day seeing her.  It’s worth a shot hun, and I wish you the best.  Remember: regardless of anything, everyone will be looking at you! happy for you! and laughing at her.  🙂

Post # 15
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

No one will mistake her for you, let it go. It’s really not a battle you want to pick.

Post # 16
Member
126 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I agree with those who say let it go:  She will be the one who comes off badly.  And we must remember that, being brides, we are a bit more sensitive than usual. 

She will look ridiculaous.  You win.

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