Post # 1
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
Hey ya’ll. I was wondering if anyone has ever worn their mother in law’s dress? I was asked if I wanted to wear hers and I said yes without even ever seeing the thing. The reason I was so quick to answer yes is because she passed away 8 years ago and I thought it was an honor they even asked me, her daughter wore her own dress at her wedding. But I don’t want my soon to be sis angry that I wanna wear her mom’s. But my soon to be husband said it was fine. My question is, do you think it would be insulting to get it altered? I’m pretty sure it’s from the 80’s and if it was, boy oh boy I don’t wanna wear the puffy sleeve thing. But maybe it’ll be fine. My question is, how do I politely ask if I can get it altered? I don’t think height or size would be the issue since I am probably the exact same size as she was when she got married, but I’m dreading the thought of 80’s sleeves. Help.
Post # 2
Member
9040 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
smallgirl94: Talk to your SIL. Just tell her you want to be respectful , wanted to talk before doing anything and need her help in modernising the dress a little.
Post # 3
Member
838 posts
Busy bee
I would think that it would be expected that you alter the dress, even more than just taking it in, or getting it hemned. It’s an 80’s dress! That’s probably the reason your SIL didn’t wear the dress :p
That being said, I would definitely ask. Just say “Hey, I would be totally honoured to wear you mother’s dress, but would you be insulted if I altered it considerably to be more modern?”
Post # 4
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee
smallgirl94: why not talk to your fsil about her thoughts / wishes?
Post # 5
Member
1241 posts
Bumble bee
If I were you I would err on the side of caution and not make any changes to the dress. What if you just take some pictures in the dress but don’t wear it for the entire wedding day? Or, could you borrow a piece of jewelery or veil that was your MIL’s instead?
Post # 6
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
Well I do want to wear the dress, I really really do. But I want to alter it quite a bit. So I will talk to her. Has anyone ever seen an 80’s dress turned more modern? Do you think it would be possible to take away sleeves and make it a sleevless dress?
Post # 7
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
- Wedding: November 2015 - Glen Echo Park
smallgirl94: Oh, totally — there are great tailors out there that specialize in this. I just saw an AMAZING 80s dress remake somewhere on these boards — a remake of the girl’s mothers dress. Don’t take it to just anybody – find a tailor you trust. You can create a lovely heirloom.
Post # 8
Member
2805 posts
Sugar bee
Here is the link to the bee who just posted her photos of her wearing her moms 80’s dress. It’s pretty amazing how great it turned out!!
I Wore My Mom's Dress! (Pic heavy)
Post # 9
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
you should see the dress first before you make any decision.
Post # 10
Member
5365 posts
Bee Keeper
I haven’t been in this situation, but something kinda similar. My Future Mother-In-Law also passed away almost 6 years ago (along with both my parents and I have no idea where my moms dress is). We wanted to use diamonds from her wedding set in mine. But Fiance has 2 younger sisters, but they’re twins so it’s kinda different. We just talked to them and also his stepdad about the ring and if they would be okay with us having it and basically tearing it apart. They were all happy to let me have it and let me do whatever I wanted with it. Hopefully it goes the same way for you!
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