(Closed) Mother in-laws…

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
3775 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

@juliesprague:  This should probably be posted in the family or emotional categories instead of rings, but being a newbee I understand the confusion.  Anyway, the way I feel about my mil can probably best be summed up in the “letter” I wrote in a post about things we all want to say.  Read and enjoy!

 

Dear Mother-In-Law, 

     I bet you never dreamed when you brought your baby boy home from the hospital that the day would come when he would disown you.  I am proud to be the woman that encouraged him and took him away.  You are a dispicable excuse for a human being and you don’t deserve anything from us, nor will you ever get anything from us.  There is a special place in the lowest caverns of Hell for you.  The turmoil and hardship that puncuated my husband childhood, because of you ,makes you unfit to even be refered to as a mother.  You are the antithesis of everything maternal. 

     As you have heard from other family members, we have two beautiful daughters.  I hope it breaks your heart that you have not and will never meet them.  We hear from family members that you have emphesema.  They tell us that we should contact you.  We don’t care that you are dying and have no intention on contacting you just because your miserable life is coming to an end.  There will be no attending of the funeral, no tears from us, and no regrets.  It has been 7.5 years since we disowned you and 5 years since I last had to look at your ugly face.  Your son and I am rediculously happy and have a beautiful life together. 

with no regard,

The wife of the man formerly known as your son!

P.S.  Wouldn’t it have been easier to have been nice to me?  I tried to warn you.  If you didn’t want to pay the piper you shouldn’t have danced to the music Bitch!

Post # 4
Member
3575 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I like my MiL for the most part.  Sometimes she’s a pita.  And she NEVER stops talking which is annoying. 

Post # 5
Member
2058 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@juliesprague:  I don’t dislike my Mother-In-Law however I don’t love her with all I’ve got either!  She is very passive aggressive and sometimes I find myself wanting to snap at her and say, “spit it out already, tell me exactly what your issue is…”  bc instead of telling Darling Husband and me when there is something up her butt she spews out lame lame lame one liner comments that make me want to back hand her (NOT literally).  Saying that she does have a huge heart, she is very caring and she is always available to help out if need be.  It helps that his parents are two states away  Tongue out

Is there something specific going on with you and your Mother-In-Law that you need help with or support? 

Post # 7
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Well I don’t hate or even dislike my Mother-In-Law, but I can totally relate to a lot of the frustrations others feel. I think it’s just hard in general going through the struggle over DH’s attention, it used to be 100% directed at his mother and now it’s probably 99% directed at me. I feel bad about that and encourage my Darling Husband to call his Mom often and make sure she feels included in our lives, but it’s still hard. When she offers advice to us, I do my best to listen and really think about what she’s saying. Although I have had to talk my Darling Husband off a ledge a few times, especially during the wedding planning, when she managed to plant the idea in his head that we were doing something wrong (trust me we weren’t). It’s just a product of the fact that she doesn’t know Darling Husband as well as she used to and isn’t up to date on what’s going on in our lives. So I encourage Darling Husband not to take it personal and realize that his decision was right in the first place.

Sorry for the ramble, but that’s just my 2 cents on my own personal dynamic.

Post # 8
Member
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Currrently Hate. She moved to the US almost 3 decades ago. She spoke, wrote, read english since elementry school. And she still speaks Dutch in front of me just to cut me out of the conversation. She will even speak Dutch to the person next to me so that I’m in the middle. She told my Fiance that she doesn’t have to speak english in front of me because “she’s so quiet anyway”. She’s very passive aggressive and I can’t stand the way she treats me or her son. The older son is her favorite even though she is always talking badly about him and I’m with the younger, ignored son. My Future Father-In-Law is great though!

Post # 9
Member
457 posts
Helper bee

Currently DISPISE and probably will for a very long time.

 

burris4– great letter, my Darling Husband and I have disowned his mother and sister ever since our wedding 7 months ago.

May I ask what all went down? Also has there been times that it really gets your Darling Husband down? My Darling Husband and are sooo soo much better off without her in our life, he knows it, and i know it, but when he thinks about the things she did to us he sometimes gets down and angry, and also around the holidays. Has your Darling Husband experienced any of that?


Post # 11
Member
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’m sorry you girls are having trouble with the Future Mother-In-Law.  I happen to really like mine.  She has two sons and no daughters.  I’m trying to include her in as much of the wedding planning as possible that way she gets at least some of that experience.

Post # 12
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

My Future Mother-In-Law is really quiet, and so am I for the most part, so we’ve only recently started really chatting. But now that we have, I really like her! She’s very sweet and funny, and a lot like her son. 

Post # 13
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I get along well with mine so far.  She can be a bit demanding and pushy – but in a good way.  If that even makes sense.  She tries very hard to give us space and still be there for us.  I’ll be interested to see what she’s like after we’re married.

Post # 14
Member
4770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t hate her but I don’t really like her either.  She is a gossip, nosy, and judgemental.  We disagree about everything, have nothing in common, and she always tells me how to clean.  She tells Fiance that she is upset becasue she wanted me to be like another daughter.  hmmm no. I don’t need another mother.  She says I don’t open up and never talk to her. Honestly I’m terrified of the woman becasue she’s so judemental and anything I say or do will be gossiped about.  Plus she yells a lot especially at Fiance so I just hide, I don’t need her to yell at me so I stay away. She apparently was upset that I didn’t ask her to go Bridesmaid or Best Man and wedding dress shopping!  I didn’t want her to go dress shopping with me since we disagree on everything! And she went Bridesmaid or Best Man dress shopping anyway.  I asked my SIL since she is a Bridesmaid or Best Man and figured Future Mother-In-Law would tag along since we were going to do it during a fam vacation.  She did tag along, but apparently she’s still mad that I didn’t specifically ask her beforehand or somehting.  Whatev.

Post # 15
Member
3775 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

@ams12:  Well, my mil never liked me from the beginning.  Add to that the fact that she is an alcoholic who would get drunk and call us and when I answered the phone would say things like “Its Deborah, You are a stupid bitch and my son can do so much better.  It can’t wait until he figures that out and gets rid of you”  Then go on to talk to him like everything was fine.  She has called me every name in the book, in private, in public, anywhere and everywhere.  She repeatedly subjected all of her children to multiple abusive men and helped cover up her own child’s molestation by her brother.  She flat out told me, at a family bbq “This is my family, and you are not welcome in it”.  She (had my husband as a teenager) and told him in my presence, “You ruined my life.  I wish I would have had the good sense to have an abortion.  If I didn’t have the sense to have an abortion I should have at least brought you home and bashed your head agaist the wall until you were dead and been done with it.”.  I could go on and on about the crap she has done.  My husband took a couple of years to escape the co-dependancy she had bred into him growing up.  He used to make excuses and try to blame me.  Thank God he finally saw her for who she is.  I think it makes him sad that it couldn’t have been different.  I think he wishes he had a wonderful and normal family.  Honestly it makes me sad too.  Unfortunately, the deal we made when we got married was that I would marry him on the condition that we never have anything else to do with her.  To this day if I ever found out that he contacted her or had any contact with her at all, I would get a divorce.  I simply refuse to allow that kind of evil in my life.

Post # 16
Member
535 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

WOW, I feel REALLY lucky reading these posts.  My Future Mother-In-Law is great!  I don’t get along with my own mother very well, so Future Mother-In-Law has always been a second mom to me (In my phone, she is programmed as “Other Mother”…corny, I know).  I love her to death, same with Future Father-In-Law.  They have included me in their family ever since I started dating their son at age 16.  We have been through a lot of drama (FI and I through the years, which has in turn affected my relationship with the in-laws). Fiance and I broke up for 8 months in 2009, but 2 years later, we have all dealt with the issues, moved on, and we are getting married in less than 4 months 🙂 FI’s mom is just a genuinely sweet woman and we are very close.

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