- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
So in January I visited my mom and informed her that we had chosen a venue for our wedding finally! and have placed our downpayment and our next step was to create invitations and mail them out to our guests.
She suggested I invite three of her friends. I agreed and that same night I phoned them and got their mailing addresses.
Forward to March:
Invitations were sent a few days ago, Mother calls me and asks if her friend’s 7 year old daughter can come to the wedding.
I told her to hold on the line, and consulted my FI about it…he and I had already decided we didnt want any children at our wedding (which isnt hard because none of our friends have children lol).
I consulted my FI, and ofcourse he said no way..I agreed. I told mother of this news and she made her disspaointing groans and I said, the envirironment is not for children, there will be drinking and it is very formal and not to mention that we have a limited guest list. I further explained to her that there will be one other child there, who is a breastfeeding infant and is immediate family.
I could tell she was upset, and then she went on to say… well, ‘my friend said that she might not come if her daughter isnt able to come, because she never leaves her anywhere’ I said that I think the lady has ample time between now and June to find someone to watch her child, I also said I think her daughter is old enough to be away from her mother; after all doesnt she go to school?.
My mother argued back and said.. well if that woman doesnt come, she isn’t sure if she can come or how she will get there because that lady is her ride to the wedding (this is ridiculous , as we live in a city and my wedding is downtown) I siad to her, I can pay for your cab fare to get to there.
After saying that , her third statement is what irritated me: She said ” Well I might leave right after the ceremony because I dont want to be sitting and watching people drinking rum”. I said, that’s fine, the coordinator will make provisions for those who leave early. She also asked if poeple will be swearing, I said “it’s a formal environment, but I dont expect people to be swearing, however if they do that is their choice!”
I think she said that to jab at me because I said no to her asking if her friend’s daughter could come! I feel that she was trying to be manipulative and passive aggressive.
What type of mother threatens to not attend her daughter’s wedding reception. My FI family members will be there to celebrate those moments and she is going to leave! I’m losing patience with her behaviour, she makes everything about her. Not to mention, Fuck me right? for providing an environment at my wedding reception for those who CHOOSE to drink!
I know that in my heart, I would be so hurt. This is the last straw for me! she didnt attend my highschool graduation, neither did my father. She has missed important things in my life! she cant be there for me this one day, and witness my first dance with my new husband, cake cutting or speeches?
I jsut cant believe her! I dont really feel that she will actually duck out early, but it concerns me that she would even say that to me, knowing 100% that I’d be hurt. It is also apparent to me that she said it as a way to make me feel like if I ban alchohol then she will stay and if there is no alchohol..then there is no reason why the little girl cant come! I’m pretty sure that she tried to manipulate me and it didnt work and that upset her.
She is really hit my last nerve.