(Closed) Mother needs a chill pill

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@green_girlie05: I think that you need to sit down and have a very frank and firm conversation with her. Tell her that you are excited to be engaged and you really are looking forward to getting married, but you deliberately set the date in 2013 because you are too busy and involved in your own life right now to take the care you want to plan your wedding. That being said, you would LOVE to have her help in the future and you will certainly tell her when you are ready to plan. Perhaps even suggest that she gather her ideas into a book or journal so you can look at it when you are ready. But until then, you really don’t want to talk about wedding things, as you are not nearly ready to start planning and you might even *gasp* FORGET the ideas she is suggesting!

Perhaps if she agrees to waiting to discuss things then you wll have time to figure out how you are going to put your foot down about certain aspects of YOUR wedding. I know the rule is that the person who pays gets a say, but take that into consideration when accepting any money from her. If she offers to pay for your honeymoon to Disney in the future, be prepared to say “You know, we do love Disney but truly don’t see that as being a place we would want to enjoy as our honeymoon. We have always dreamed of exploring ________, and have been saving up to go there. If you would like to contribute to that, we would certainly appreciate it, if not, perhaps we can use the Disneyland passes at another time.”

As for kids… “Kids really make me feel uncomfortable. I want to be as stress free and relaxed as possible on my wedding day, so I really don’t think it would be a good idea to have them around. I know cousin/aunt/sister would really like to bring ________, but perhaps we can have a small get together with them and the kids later on to celebrate our marriage with the children.”


However you deal with it, good luck, stay firm and have your Fiance back you up!

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