(Closed) Mother not upfront about wedding attendance or contributions

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
2600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@expatissues:  I’m sorry, that stinks.


My advise would be to forget about your Mom contributing financially. Ive seen too many stories here where couples we’re told a parent would contribute only to have them back out later. Don’t set yourself up for that. Plan what you can afford and if she comes through with some money it will be a pleasant surprise. If you can’t afford to pay for a reception in the US simply tell her that. She can either step up or not. But DO NOT plan anything based verb promises. Have the cash in hand!


As for your Mom, maybe call her when your dick-y, selfish SD isn’t around. Tell her how much it would mean to you to have her there. Maybe look up some flights yourself and suggest some good options? Maybe tell her that her coming can be her gift to you? Ask her to commit to making a decision by x date. 


Based on what you’ve written, it seems likely she won’t come. I don’t mean to hurt you by saying that, only just encourage you not to get your hopes up and to start trying trying to accept it now so it won’t be a point of sadness on your wedding day.


Good luck.


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