(Closed) Mother-of-Groom Drama

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
7647 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Wait, she started invtiing them before you even sent out save the dates? Well, easy then. Don’t send them save the dates OR invites. If you Fiance feels as strongly as you, then he needs to talk to his mother and make your guy’s feelings known on the issue, especially if you are paying for these extra 15 people to be there.

My Mother-In-Law created a huge list. We smiled and took the list home and then cut 90% of them as well as the ones that had no addresses provided for us. She never found out nor did she care at the end of the day who wasn’t there.

Post # 4
Member
2286 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: Central Park

She created this mess but I would not trust her to set it right. Have your FH call them and explain that there was some mis-communication and you are at your venues capacity and can not accommodate additional guests. It is going to be uncomfortable but you need to let them know. Make sure your FH tells her that she does not get to invite people.  

Post # 5
Member
9952 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

@megz06:  —> THIS

No need to do anything at this point in time.

Just don’t send anyone you don’t want there a Save The Date or an Invite

No one is officially invited until they have an Invite in hand anyhow

(so no real need to apologize to anyone she’s invited… because she’s the one who has mispoke, and will ultimately be the one who looks foolish in the end)

If this whole mess continues to blow up… then YES you will have to take action / handle it.

But for now nothing THE TWO OF YOU need to do

That said, your Groom needs to have a chat with Mom and tell her she is out of line, inviting folks verbally or otherwise … that is NOT HER JOB

Her job is to give you guys a list… and YOU TWO TOGETHER determine how to divide up the Invitations based on what you can afford to do for a Wedding

Hope this helps,

By The Way… Curious what the break down finanacially is… who is paying what for your Wedding.  Is it all coming from you two… or do the families each have money in the pot etc.

 

Post # 7
Member
9952 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

TO @labcrafts:  Thanks for the UPDATE (Reply # 5)

Well then she has technically… NO “hat in the ring”…

As this is a traditional format Wedding when it comes to Finances…

And having money in the Rehearsal Dinner pot doesn’t count in such a scenario

As the old saying goes…

“He who pays… gets the say”

Your Groom needs to have a chat with Mom and tell her to knock it off… as not only is she being a PAIN she is making a fool of herself in front of the future “other side” of the family with her shenanigans

Hope this helps,

PS… (( HUGS )) as I figure you need em NOW (and the remaining 7 months to go)

 

Post # 8
Member
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@This Time Round:  I agree with this: “no real need to apologize to anyone she’s invited… because she’s the one who has mispoke, and will ultimately be the one who looks foolish in the end.”

 

Have your fiance talk to her so maybe things will go more smoothly going forward. But I would just send STD’s to those you WANT there, and not who your Future Mother-In-Law has already invited. Plus, I just read she isn’t even paying for anything, so she gets no say.

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