Post # 1
So I’m having a bit of an internal dilemma right now about my fmils dress choice. She is not the type of person to dress formal, and getting her into a dress is pretty difficult. But I went shopping with her to find a dress for the wedding and she chose a black knee length dress(she won’t wear a long dress) with blue flowers on it. Now my mom’s dress is a mauve lace gown and kind of seems much more formal.
I saw what my fmil looked like in the dress and it honestly looked really nice on her, was appropriate and again getting her to try on anything more formal (which I did but she hated them) is very hard.
Our colors are burgundy, navy, and gold so I’m a little worried that she is going to clash in photos, and also look a lot less formal than my mom , especially because my mom’s dress is a gown and hers honestly resembles a sun dress. Does this matter? Should I just let this all go and consider it a win that I even got her to wear a dress? Or should I try to get her to wear something else? I’ve also never really seen the mother of the groom wearing floral, so not sure if that’s weird too.
Post # 2
Let her wear what she wants.
Post # 5
Agree with pp’s. Its not worth making a fuss over.
Post # 6
She is not Decor. She doesn’t have to match it. None of your other guests are going to match it or if they do it’s by happenstance.
Let It Go. She looks good and likes it. That is the most important part.
Post # 7
Thanks everyone, your right her comfort is important too!
Post # 8
Maybe you could steer her towards a formal pants suit?
That way she can more closely match the level of formality yet still be comfortable that its not a dress.
Post # 9
You said she looks nice in it and she is happy so that is what matters.
People are not decor that need to fit in with a theme/blend into a background.
Post # 10
My fear for her would be that if she isn’t used to dressing up she might not realize until its too late that she is under dressed. I would feel awful if she arrived and then felt self conscious because she was underdressed as compared to your mother.
Post # 11
agreed! I’m actually going to subtly show her my mom’s dress next week and see how she feels about it and then she can make her final decision, if she decides to stay with the floral then great, if not she can keep looking!
Post # 12
Mothers are not part of the wedding party nor obligated to match them, your colors, or each other. Despite how some brides operate it is in fact inappropriate to dictate. They are presumed to be adults who can dress themselves.
It’s is fine to give her a heads up about what your mom will be wearing.
Contrary to common practice, bridal party and mothers are supposed to match the formality of the wedding. If your wedding is not black tie it may actually be your future mother in law who is dressing more appropriately!
There’s nothing wrong with a floral pattern. There can be casual floral and dressy floral. Formality can be determined by fabric, length, and or features like sequins and beading.
Post # 13
What time and where is your wedding? Is it black tie?
Post # 14
I think you should let her wear it. You said she looks really nice in it. We can’t all be the same, we all the have different personalities and tastes and this is hers.
Black with blue flowers sounds like it goes a lot better with navy burgundy and gold than mauve lace to be honest.
I’m sure both dresses have their own charms. Don’t get caught up in this sort of stuff. It’s fine to show her your mums dress but if she is happy then great!
My wedding is in less than 2 weeks and I did suggest to my dad he prehaps should wear a grey suit or he’d stick out a bit but that is as far as I’ve gone. I never got to meet my Future Mother-In-Law so I’d be happy to have her there in a dressing gown to be honest.
Don’t sweat the small stuff xx
Post # 15
Does she have to wear a dress? Would she prefere trousers? That can still be formal. Also how formal is the wedding? I think a knee length dress in general so totally appropriate wedding attire even if they were sundressy. You mil comfort is more important than colours.