Mother of groom dress dilemma

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 16
Member
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I literally don’t remember ever noticing what the mother of the groom wore. I have also seen plenty of mothers who don’t match the decor. I’d let her wear it. 

Post # 17
Member
7519 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I guess I would ask why your fmil has to be the one to change dresses? If this bothers you so much why won’t you ask your mother to change her dress to something less formal? Would you ever consider asking her that? And if not why is it ok to ask or pressure your fmil to change her dress?

Post # 18
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2020

Agree with the others. Future Mother-In-Law is fine as she is.

Post # 21
Member
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

View original reply
lbean93 :  I agree with pp when I read your OP about her not wanting to wear dresses, I immediately thought – nice formal pants suit.  Definately show her those options she may feel more comfortable and still fit the dress code. 

Post # 22
Member
13548 posts
Honey Beekeeper

View original reply
lbean93 :  So is the wedding still going to be black tie? If so, I’d certainly give her a heads up to that effect. What she does then is really up to her. 

Post # 23
Member
3106 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
lbean93 :  Do you have pictures of both dresses?

Post # 25
Member
3106 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
lbean93 :  Your mom’s dress is pretty, as well as the MOG’s dress. Since your mom’s dress is more of a tea-length and not a gown, I don’t think the differing styles will be problematic. 

Post # 27
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2020

ooo.. I would totaly let her wear what she wants.  My mothers dress choice was turned into a huge deal at my brothers wedding like 8 years ago.  I haven’t spoken to him since and my mother barely has a relationship with him.  You can not and should not tell somebody what to wear and what not to wear or compair what your mother is wearing to what she chooses to wear. 

Post # 28
Member
3089 posts
Sugar bee

If you’re worried about her being underdressed and feeling self-conscious about it the day of the wedding, would she consider adding something like a formal wrap (maybe a navy or royal blue beaded shawl)?  Some fabulous shoes and clutch to dress it up a bit?

From looking at the 2 pictures, your mother and Future Mother-In-Law in law do look like they’re going to 2 different events.  It’s pretty, but FMIL’s dress looks more suited to a beach event. I’d hate for her to look back at wedding photos and wish she’d chosen something different. 

Post # 29
Member
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I specifically asked our mothers to wear nudes, tans, coffee, ivory… etc..as well as our best friends (1 each) cause we eloped locally and those 4 were our witnesses, thus going to be the only people in pictures with us, my Mother-In-Law had 2 dresses she was considering (she already owned both) one was white and florals (pinks, purples, blue) and the other was brown, tan, and a tannish red.. of course I told her to wear the brown one as it was closest to what our color theme was, it ended up looking fine in pics as my mother had a tannish/reddish belt with her dress and my best friend (male) had a dark brownish polo, she’s just the only one with a print 😂 so it’s noticeable but not enough to stress over, so I get you wanting things to look cohesive and I agree that showing her a picture of your mothers dress would be a good idea, and if she chooses to stay with what she’s picked than that’s what she feels like herself in, and that maybe what you’ll have to accept, I am wondering why you didn’t speak up more when you went shopping with her? Maybe saying something along the lines of “that print is beautiful, but maybe a solid color would be more formal or look nicer in pics” also pant suits can be more formal if she’s into that 😀

 

Post # 30
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2020

Just putting in my 2 cents…if she’s comfortable in what she’s wearing and feels good in it, she will look better in the pictures.  If she’s wearing something she doesn’t feel good in or that is uncomfortable for her just to coordinate better, she’s going to look that way in the photos.  If you’re dead set on a certain color palette, maybe you could find something in a similar style to what she chose but in a color you prefer better.  It sounds like the groom’s entire side is in a situation where they will feel underdressed though. 

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