(Closed) mother of groom giving shower?

posted 9 years ago in Encore
Post # 3
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2009 - Cathedral of the Sacred Heart & The Jefferson Hotel

I have to say good for you for being supportive instead of being mean and nosey like the others. I think you should throw the shower, and a couples might actually be better if he is there it might ease the tension between everyone (or at least keep those who have less then nice things to say on their best behavior).

Good luck with the shower, I really think you are doing a nice thing to smooth the situtation!

Post # 4
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

My husband’s mom threw our shower and it was a lovely way for everyone to get together and celebrate the impending marriage.  I’m so glad she did it because it went a long way in making my family feel more comfortable around his family…

I think it sounds like a very thoughtful thing for you to do for your son and his fiance!

Post # 5
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Hi loving mom!

A very short answer to your question-if you want to do a rehearsal dinner & a shower, then I think you should do it!

Etiquette is still important, but not as much as it used to be and in this day and age-if you love your son, and you want to do for them as a couple, then do so.

It is not for me (or anyone else for that matter) to judge-as you said, he is capable of making a decision. Certainly some of the issues that you have brought up would concern me also as a mother, however-if you have made your feelings known, then the choice now is to be supportive and move on with a life together, or continue to bring up the issues again and again, which will do nothing but drive him (& his fiance & your grandchildren) away.

As far as the number of times that she has been married-it is a flag, but my fiance has been married twice before and his parents often say the same thing about him-he is the happiest they have ever seen him, how in love we are, how much he adores my twins (they are 5), and that we are 38-will be 39 when we get married-and are able to make our own decisions. The only people who really know what happened in previous marriages are the spouses, so while we can all speculate-that doesn’t accomplish anything and at the end of the day-doesn’t change anything either.

Do what your heart leads you to, enjoy his special day and your growing family!

Love to you!

Lisa 🙂

Post # 6
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

If you want to give them a shower, I think that would be lovely.  In light of the situation you describe, I’m sure they would appreciate the show of support.  I know I would.

Post # 7
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

If you want to throw a shower – go for it!  You know the pros and cons of the situation, and are an adult who can throw a party if you want to. 

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